She hung herself
on Oprah
and episodes
of 'the View'

She slit her wrists
with Martha Stewart
and Pier 1

She blew her brains out
with Anne Rice books
and 'Brigitte Jones' Diary'

She performed hari-kari
with the music of Ani Difranco
and Sheryl Crow

She overdosed
with bottles of skincream
and diet pills

She stuck her head in the gas oven
with the help
of chatrooms
and daily horoscopes

She leapt of the roof
and was pushed by
audio books
and herbal teas

what a life she lived
oh what a meaningful existence

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