writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
PrometheousUnbnd
Alfred Derro IV
United States, Pennsylvania, Harleysville

Words: 217
Access: Public
Comments: 1

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Façade.

Cool as the air that spans the room,

and grinning gently in your rest,

you spin the fans inside;

which bide your plans to be the best.



Subtle awhile, until you slip,

beyond the vision intended to veil;

far from gained of she the lesser grip,

until your waking fates 'of we' to fail.





And by these words; written, in being red,

you are lost the façade; of and for your head.







Seeing you lie thus separate,

she is found again; the lonely lame;

the target of a tearless love;

the subject of a silent shame.



Discomfort rises, sized by the heat,

comprised of conscious, missed, routines.

The manner of exchange here too careful,

and wordless, to share in part, or too full;





the empty place where our sight convenes.







And you are falling into light,

on the heavy law of circumstance.

Where once a distant glint,

now windows, open of advance.



Each brandish the iocane-powdered point of common sense,

that love once misspawned in 'sensation's heat.'

That love must be bested as views diverge;

beloved features let be set to merge,





to a darkness within the demise,

that each may leave the other's life complete.









The height of the tall tale of all small lies,

has become the slight opening of your eyes.

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
rosysophia Comment by: rosysophia - 2006-09-26 17:19
Add to Readers
      
Hey, hey! :-p This starts out really well. I like a lot of your lines, especially the last two. But... I don't get who you mean by saying "you" or "she." Is "you" and "she" the same person? It's a little... vague..

"And by these words; written, in being red,

you are lost the façade; of and for your head."

"In being red" is a little weird to be, because you could have easily said, "in red." Are you just trying to make it sound good? "Of and for your head," doesn't make sense to me either.

Redo? I like lots of this, though. Good job so far.
1

Sponsored Ads


By PrometheousUnbnd

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S