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PrometheousUnbnd
Alfred Derro IV
United States, Pennsylvania, Harleysville

Words: 154
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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Past.

'You're so far away,' you say,
and I know what you mean;
I'm on your horizon,
with the world in between







'I'm closer than you think,'
and you think you understand;
two hearts won't part,
for ocean and land.







'I can feel you at night,' you say,
and I smile.
You hold me close then,
if only for a while.







'And that is right,'
and you have to agree;
you're sure you're in heaven,
when you're with me.







'But you leave me at day,' you say,
and I confess;
when the morning's the more,
I'm with you the less.







'And that is wrong,'
and you know that it's true;
to have me for real,
would mean everything to you.











'Why won't you come?'
you ask me at last.














'Because I'm already with you,
and with one step closer, I'd be past.'

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Comments  
Comment by: - 2008-04-19 13:44
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The ending is amazing. And I love the subtle rhyme scheme. An amazing work!
rosysophia Comment by: rosysophia - 2006-09-28 18:11
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Definately one of your better ones! I like the last stanza the best. Because this is mostly dialouge, I don't think it needs as much imagery as your others would. It flows well and ends well. Nice!
Comment by: - 2006-09-27 08:16
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Wow this is good... the ending gave me chills it is perfect!!! WOW JUST AMAZING!!! Great ryhme and flow and I love the space between each stanza... it makes the reader pause a little inbetween and that reall adds a lot!!! GREAT JOB!

~Princess Padge
1

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By PrometheousUnbnd

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