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ShatteredDreamer
Tash .
United Kingdom

Words: 639
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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Hey Kid, It's All Over Now

Hey you, hey kid,
Sittin' there all on ya own,
Let me tell you tales of weird, wonderful days,
Come sit by me kid,
Come roll another joint,
Let me tell you of the gun slingers,
Warriors who lost their ways.
Hey kid,
Lookee over there, look at her,
Walkin' all on her lonesome,
A lost poppy in the breeze, huh kid?
She was a great beauty,
back in those dusty days,
When you slammed a fist on the table,
And demanded that you got your ways.
You drowned the glare of the hot summer sun,
You fought for liberty,
You sweated in your blood stiff shirt,
Tried so hard for everyone to be free.
But all you saw in the ghetto streets,
were the dying
(dying)
the dying and the dead,
Why won't someone help them, you screamed,
Why, Oh Why?
But there was nothing left in heaven to be said.
Babies left in blankets, crying out to live,
But death is all they'll ever see,
No one would care to give.
'Cause before those dusty days,
Was poverty, poverty, all we'd ever seen,
Screaming out in the filthy streets,
Where the Mayor's spit-polished boots never dared been,
But hey kid, hey kid,
Ain't you been here before?
Dang, I know you kid!
You got nothin' but trouble knockin' at yer front door.
(remember?)
You signed your name in your fresh dipped blood,
Right there, on the dotted line,
But you know how it is to die, huh kid?
But hey, who cares, it don't cost you a dime.
You've died so many times kid,
Broken all the young maids hearts,
But you don't look back kid, you don't look back.
But tell me kid,
How was it, before those dusty, dusty days?
'Cause you say that you been walkin',
Walkin' far in ya shit stained boots,
You say yer a man, you carry all your scars,
But all I see is a kid
(a kid)
Trapped in summertime, summertime blues.
Hey kid, Hey kid!
We've both seen the blood of our bitchin' mothers,
Drunk by hungry dry sand,
But we both taken sweet revenge, right kid?
Watching them die kid, now wasn't that just grand?
But who looks back any more kid?
No one remembers from where they have come,
No one gonna take their stand behind the barrel of their gun,
Cause people come
(people come)
Yeah, and people go,
(people go...yeah, they go)
But hey kid, we here forever,
We ain't clowns in this circus show.
We seen fragments of a million dead worlds,
Swigging whisky behind flappin batwing doors,
We've loved and lost, lived and died,
But man, got so sick of rebirth,
(one more day and one more joint)
We count the fallen before we lay down our heads,
Those we crushed underfoot in our path,
And hey, hey kid,
Come here, right here,
Outta the hot hot summer sun,
Savour the grit of those long lost days,
Before the roses burned black and the injustice was a plague,
When all the love wasn't dying yet,
But hey,
Look at this, my words don't want me no more,
The sword will always outrun the pen,
So much for the lore, ballad and tavern tale,
The weird and wonderful won't be recalled again.
My fingers are numb kid, but roll me another joint,
And remember,
She was a great beauty,
When her demons chose to lay low,
When everything wasn't quite fucked up,
When the world wasn't dead yet,
(like it is now)
(just like it is now)
So, see ya later kid,
Man, this is goodbye,
Take a joint for the road, kid,
You're on your own now,
It's all over now.

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Comments  
cbmckusick Comment by: cbmckusick - 2006-11-30 20:44
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I think there is a lot to be cut... Poetry is a concentration of images, and this is so diffuse and smoky and hit-or-miss. But leave in that part about the glare of the hot summer sun. Reminds me of The Clash or something.
LadyEgyptia Comment by: LadyEgyptia - 2006-10-24 09:48
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Mmmm, I like the structure very much - the use of parentheses is interesting and not overdone. I think if you thought hard about it, you could cut some to shorten it but it held my interest all the way through and I don't know what you'd cut. I could relate to each thought so leaving something out, well, I don't know. I just liked it a lot.
nonalienabductee Comment by: nonalienabductee - 2006-10-19 13:47
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The blues, sing the blues. Wonderfully trippy and jangly; it deserves to be sung by a man with nicotine stains on his fingers and a guitar that he loves more than anything or anyone else. I liked this a lot. It's maybe a tiny bit too long, but then again I couldn't tell you which part should be cut, so I'm probably wrong.
Maybe this part:
You drowned the glare of the hot summer sun,
You fought for liberty,
You sweated in your blood stiff shirt,
Tried so hard for everyone to be free.
But all you saw in the ghetto streets,
were the dying
(dying)
the dying and the dead,
Why wonâ??t someone help them, you screamed,
Why, Oh Why?
But there was nothing left in heaven to be said.
Babies left in blankets, crying out to live,
But death is all theyâ??ll ever see,
No one would care to give.

Although it's well-written, it's a little overdone . . . there are a lot of poems about that, and it's the least interesting part of your poem.
1

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