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The Memoirs of the Colour 'Red' (The biography of a pigment).
At the beginning
I was born of the
glassy shells of insects:
caramelised skelatons
crushed;
pummelled;
and etched
into a ceramic
mortar.
You can call me ochre,
for I am applied in dainty
strokes across a plainly
plastered board;
barren; devoid of
a scene, a single
moment of life.
One lady, well to do
may peer through me
hiding fearful connotations
of blood,
a drooping rose;
whose petals
appear desiccated
through her tired eyes.
Yet others may
find me on another day
applied on slim lined
lips of a lover
imprinted indelibly
upon an expectant mouth
with closed eyes.
You see me parading
manly on the battlefield
streaked across the
war banners, for I
am bold, not timid.
For if I am rubbed
between the fingers
you will smell
the molten iron.
What is it to be ochre;
a colour hinted by the eye,
an adagio for the deaf
or a warmth to those who pallor?
I am all this;
To show glowing tints
upon the ceilings of the
airy Sistine Chapel
to the curls
that wind up
the minaret.
I am your blood,
or the vermillion
of an erupting sun.
Just a colour
that not many
will marvel.
Painted by minaturists;
marvelled for it's ubiquity
within the skin of all
and the very fabric
of nature.
My name is Red.
Copyright (2006). Haymond Lam is asserted as the author of this work in accordance to the copyright and patents act (1988).
The last line is inspired by Orhan Palmuk's book, 'My Name is Red'.
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Not sure how I missed this one, but it's a wonderful read. It seems so well thought-over, you seem to have considered every word. In particular I like: "I am your blood,/ or the vermillion/ of an erupting sun." and "For if I am rubbed
between the fingers/ you will smell/ the molten iron."
Now, don't shoot me for this but I think it would benefit from being cut down - I think you overstate the case somewhat and that has in turn diluted the impact of it. (possibly delete verses 3 or 4 and 7)
However, it's a beautiful piece and you really show your influences, your wonderful observation skills - you seem to have an empathy with the colour, it's almost an ode to red. |
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Comment by: Sophia - 2007-06-19 06:03
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THis is a really beuatiful and well written piece; the idea of writing from the perspective f a colour is great. I liked the way you found so many different meaning and sights through the colour red. These lines in particular stood out to me:
'You see me parading
manly on the battlefield
streaked across the
war banners, for I
am bold, not timid.'
For what it's worth I also like the title and think it works. I agree either would work fine on it's own, but I think the complete title is good too; I don't think you always need a short title, especially for something like this. |
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I agree with Brindley, continue to play with this theme; a great collection idea.
A little punctuation clean-up needed, but the piece is beautiful, as always. I would love to see what you could do with black with a requirement to avoid all cliches.
Yvy |
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Wowwww. That was so vivid. The first stanza was my favorite; the images of the crushed insects, the vitality of those lines . . . just brilliant.
Two comments--its, not it's, in the last stanza (not counting My name is Red.)
Also, the title is a bit . . . unwieldy, to say the least. I think either will work perfectly well, but both is a bit much.
Great stuff, really. |
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One lady, well to do^ you need another comma there.
may peer through me^ also there.
I know that red is a power color but this makes it even more so. |
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