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LadyPixie
Crystal Whtfield
United States, TX

Words: 860
Access: Public
Comments: 8

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The Summer I Died (Re-write)

I remember my death quite well.

It was the summer of the mid 1700's. I had just moved to the America's to start a new life. By myself now, I had no family left.
My parents had been murdered by creatures of the night... vampires... whatever you'd like to call them.
America was lovely, but still not as lovely as my home back in Ireland, however.

"Good evening, m'lady." A young gentleman said as I left out of the President's Ball.
"Good evening, sir." I returned with a kind smile and continued on my way.

The air was humid and warm, causing small beads of sweat across my forehead. 'Bloody corset.' I thought with aggravation.

It wasn't long before I noticed the footsteps following closely behind me. Everytime I turned around to look, there was no one in sight. I still sped up my feet, beginning to get nervous.
I had never been really fond of being by myself in the dark. Unfortuantly, I had no choice... I had accepted the invitation to attend the ball, knowing it would keep me out that late.

Soon, I saw the shadow of a tall person out of the corner of my eye. My breath became jagged and I tried to move more quickly- stumbling over the rocky streets due to my high heels.
Finally growing frustrated, I stopped and turned to face my follower; gathering up what courage I could.

"May I ask why you are following me?" I asked as politely as possible. I could still hear my voice shaking a litle. The streets were semi-dark with the exception of a few small lit street lamps.
"I just couldn't help but wonder why a beautiful young woman like yourself is walking alone this late in the night." The stranger's voice came to me full of sophistication and reassurance. A second later, a man stepped out in front of me, allowing me to look him over. He was the same gentleman from the President's Ball that had said goodnight to me. Quite handsome, he was tall, dark haired and well groomed. His voice carried a gentle english accent and his eyes were a striking green, instantly captivating me.

I smiled in relief.

"You are very flattering, sir." I said with a blush.
"Thank you, Liza." He said with a smirk.
I smiled mischievously and pulled Drake toward me.
"You know, you can't be following me everywhere or they could figure out the truth." I said, gripping his shirt and pulling him on the side of a nearby building.

"I can't help it... I worry about you." He joked. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Besides your parents deserved it for everything they did to you." He added more seriously.
I grew angry at this and shoved him away.
"I never told you and your friends to kill them, though! I only told you to scare them a little!" I nearly shouted.

He shrugged it off and reached for me again.
"Come now, pet, don't be like that." He soothed.

"I did you a favor, now you do me one..." He started slowly, an evil smile forming.
"What?" I asked in confusion, looking up at him.

"Become my pet for eternity." He whispered hotly in my ear. His features suddenly grew dark, the look of hunger filling his eyes. I didn't have time to re-act... it was too late as he plunged his teeth deep into my neck.

When he pulled back and looked into my eyes, I could feel the blood pouring down my neck. I was stunned in place- unable to move- and was beginning to feel faint.
'How could he do this to me? He promised he never would!' I thought in shock.

"The choice is yours, love. Live or die?" He whispered, a smirk forming on his blood lined lips.
"Live..." I stammered out the best I could. He nodded in understanding while cutting his own wrist, thrusting it in my face to drink from.
"First you have to die... to live..." He said as my body slowly started its change.

The pain was immense. My organs were dying and all I could do was lie in the middle of the back alley, looking up into the crescent moon in a trance. The summer air seemed to have gotten even warmer in the hour's time I had been out there. I could see the flowers around me- tulips, lilies and roses all tucked in for the night. In the distance, the roar of the ocean waves crashing on the beach filled my ears.

My head spun. My body shook and trembled. As I took my final changes, I clenched my eyes tightly shut. When opening them, I found that I had died and been reborn- the bite was healed.

The night of my mortal death being etched into my mind for eternity...

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Comments  
LadyPixie Comment by: LadyPixie - 2007-07-07 18:51
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Well, thank you darrincoe for your honesty. No offense taken and you offered some good suggestions, too :) Thanks
darrincoe Comment by: darrincoe - 2007-05-02 22:30
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I hate to write this but it's very cliched. The writing is fairly good and you got some good imagery but the story itself has been done to death (pun intended). I think a better story would be one about the whole deal with lizzie's parents and how she got to be hanging out with vampires that protected her from her parents. That would be vastly interesting.

Darrin Coe
Robin Lockheart Comment by: Robin Lockheart - 2007-03-02 12:58
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AH, I love it! Of course i am obsessed with vampires. (TWILIGHT!!!!!) but, i seriously love it.
LadyPixie Comment by: LadyPixie - 2006-10-16 07:51
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Thank you for your kind comments RoadLessTraveled and KeepBreathing
KeepBreathing Comment by: KeepBreathing - 2006-10-03 14:45
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I really enjoyed it. I love vampire stories and things of such dark, beautiful fiction. This was very well written. Very nice.
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