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The Sun Forgot to Rise Today
The sun has always seemed to mean,
The promised hope of better things
And yet, right now I have to say,
My sun forgot to rise today
Perhaps, still sleeping somewhere warm
It neglected duty for one morn
Thinking it would not be missed,
And tomorrow could make up for it
Not knowing one neglected day,
Would change the world a thousand ways
Never dreaming that one day of sleep,
Would wreck the heart and life of me
The sun has always meant for me,
The promise hope of better things
And yet this time it hurts to say,
My sun forgot to rise today...
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| This is excellent. Sorta reminds of the flip side of one I wrote called "Darkness Comes" but I like your metaphor much better. Keep up the good work. You have talent. |
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Comment by: Teri - 2006-10-04 08:00
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| Great use of metaphor. Very sad and emotionally driven writing. I like the repetition in the first and last stanza, something that I don't usually enjoy, but this is one of those rare times it works and works well. Nice, clean writing. T. |
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This is really poignant and well written. I like how you've written the sun personified, as if it could sleep somewhere and not get up for duty. Good write.
Yvylyn |
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