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d.j.
D.J. Kirkbride
United States, CA, Los Angeles

Words: 782
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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Jonathan Silverman Apparently Loves Rite Aid

Seeing actor Jonathan Silverman at my local Hollywood Rite Aid once was fairly strange in and of itself, especially being that I'm from the Midwest, an area of the US not known for sightings of the arguably semi-famous, let alone Jewish ones. However, seeing him on several occasions coupled with my girlfriend claiming to have spotted him there on separate trips, gives me pause. It seems Silverman is going to Rite Aid at least as much as my girlfriend and myself combined, if not more.

Granted, Rite Aid is a fairly convenient store where one can get prescriptions filled, photos developed, and even cheap cologne, but an independent study reveals I go there more than the average person. Yet here is the world-renowned (he's huge in Japan) Weekend At Bernie's star Jonathan Silverman making treks roughly twice as frequently. Is he so impressed by their Bod bodyspray/bodywash/lotion three-for-one pack, a steal at $9.95, that he can't resist several trips a week? Or does he have some sort of ailment that necessitates frequent visits to the pharmacy? Maybe he has a rash that won't clear up and requires stronger and stronger ointment prescriptions. Perhaps he enjoys the small selection of obscure movies cheaply priced on DVD, some of which feature him and/or fellow thesp Steve Guttenberg. Honestly, there are so many vast and varied types of products and services offered by Rite Aid that speculation on why Silverman loves it so could go on infinitum, with increasing potential for libel.

The first time I saw the former Single Guy TV series star (Who remembers that one?), I had just dropped a roll of film to be developed by this particular Rite Aid's barely competent -- yet competitively priced -- photo mat. As I was leaving, a handsome and trendily disheveled tall drink of water passed me. He was familiar, but I couldn't quite place him at first. My confusion, mistaken for gawking, allowed Silverman to assume the air of putout celebrity simply wanting to have a normal private life. This is an air he probably hasn't had the chance to give off since his Soul Man heyday. Wait'¦ that was C. Thomas Howell. ... At any rate, though mildly embarrassed by my perceived staring, I've since decided to feel good about the encounter as I helped him feel like the celebrity he, some would claim, deserves to be, however fleetingly.

Our subsequent run-ins have been less eventful: a brief glance of the Made cameo-star buying aspirin as I perused the wrapping paper selection, spying a cool Spongebob Squarepants birthday design; an unreturned nod as he rushed from the pharmacy, mysterious prescription in tow; mutual confusion as we both entered the feminine products aisle from opposite ends'¦ It's odd how he's become like any other peripheral person on the very outskirts of my life -- except that he's guest-starred on Friends.

Most vexing isn't why Jonathan Silverman excessively frequents Rite Aid so much as why he frequents this particular one, since I don't live in the best neighborhood. It's not horrible, but it's certainly not the kind of area for the star of Caddyshack 2. I'm not suggesting the man's down and out. A quick trip to the fabled Internet Movie Database shows he's still working. Not that Jekyll, a computer-age update of the Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde story, is going to smash box office records, or likely even make it to the box office, but it's a living. Still, I can't help but worry that Jonathan Silverman does indeed live near my old, dilapidated apartment building. If that's the case, where did all his Weekend At Bernie's 2 money go? Did he squander it on various lotions and hair care products from Rite Aid? Or does he go to Rite Aid for said products instead of some trendy, upper class establishment because he drained his bank account on excessive spending or ill thought out business deals? Maybe his parents stole all his money like poor, sweet Gary Coleman.

Perhaps I should just ask him why he's goes to Rite Aid so much, but, for some reason, I have little to no desire to strike up any sort of conversation with the man. Not for any dislike or misplaced ill will toward the semi-famous, nor because I somehow think I'm better than him because he's not an A-list star. It's more that I wouldn't want him to mistake me for a hayseed that gets all tongue-tied around the almost celebrity. That and it could be perceived as my being kind of nosy.

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Comments  
Comment by: - 2007-11-01 11:28
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I am unsure why the fact that Silverman is Jewish is relevant.

The writing was competant, albeit a bit boring. I feel like you wrote a lot, but said nothing very important. It's not the approach, it's the subject matter.
Safiyah Comment by: Safiyah - 2005-11-01 06:58
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I thought this was hilarious. Sometimes I go to Rite Aid here in Ohio...I'll keep my eyes peeled. Oh, and I do remember "Single Guy"--not that I particularly want to.

Thanks for the chuckles.
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By d.j.

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