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Comment by: - 2006-10-13 11:53
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| hey frozen.....ok by mentally changing the feel to expectatiosn vice hope it makes a lot more sense....deepens it in my opinion and makes it sadder in fact.....very nicely done and again it brings out strong feelings which is what i want poetry to do, what i try to do with my poetry...so good work in my opinion.... |
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Comment by: frozen - 2006-10-12 01:28
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| thnks for the comments,and appreciating my effort.... hope here stands for expectations...looking forward to |
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Comment by: - 2006-10-11 09:01
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| i liked it....after reading the other comment the end of the poem strikes me as saying, there is not an end to the line, so it goes on and on.....more optimistic with the other comment changing how i read it....thank you for sharing.... |
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You need to correct a few typos like: "Don't" instead of "do'nt" and you must add a space after commas etc. also capital after a " ! "
hehehe! Isn't it great to be pointing out mistakes!! (Sorry sis)
The message seems to be kind of pessimistic when you end with "Don't hope again" or am I reading it wrong? I think I'll talk to you about this personally! ;) |
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