I asked my brother to quiz me on multiplication this morning. I was driving him to school and we had plenty of time. Finally, he deviated from the regular "5 times X" and struck me with a rather strange word problem.

"Now," he said, "If fifteen killer clowns are joined by five other killer clowns, how many killer clowns are there?"

"Twenty killer clowns!" I exclaimed happily.

"Okay, now what if one of those killer clowns is actually a juggalo pretending to be a kiler clown. Now, let's say that juggalo fans out..."--my brother extended his arms toward the windsheild--"...and recruits others. Will the amount of juggalos increase slightly or exponentially?"

By now, I was having a lot of fun. Math with the Insane Clown Posse is a lot more interesting than plain old math, even if you don't like disturbingly greusome ghansta rap.

"Exponentially!" I said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Ah!" My brother raised his index finger into the air and sipped his Cumberland Farms slushee. "But what if some of the juggalos kill three juggahos in a juggalo's front yard?"

"You mean, what would the algebreic equation be?"

"Exactly! X=3," he finished.

"Right!" I exclaimed. "X is the number of juggalos and three is the number of juggahos killed in the juggalos front yard!"

So there's your math lesson for today, children. Always be afraid of the clowns.

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