writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
VB 16
Vinay Benjamin
Bahrain, Manama, Manama

Words: 105
Access: Public
Comments: 3

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Touching A Fantasy

You flicked aside the curtain of time,
Flurried into this theatre of life,
Attraction was silent introduction,
Not pretext, hunch-backed by lies.

Led us to meet closer than thought,
Escalated to burgeoning torment,
A mutual affinity contiguous,
Subtle persuasion, a genial consent.

Spectre of clamouring guilt was absent,
As that delusion of clandestine ties,
'Us' was a truth rosy-cheeked,
Honesty was starry eyed.

It was no perverted subterfuge,
On a heap of soiled sheets,
Rumpled whilst ardour besieged,
Leftover's, of a hunger appeased.

A fantasy, had reawakened awhile,
An unrestrained thirst set on the loose,
A candid consent into ecstasy
Cherished rapture, sans abuse.

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
abhinaw Comment by: abhinaw - 2007-11-07 04:34
Add to Readers
      
sound handling of imagery and flavours wafting great scent.
VB 16 Comment by: VB 16 - 2006-10-18 03:05
Add to Readers
      
Teri, thanks a lot for the encouragement. I'll re-edit what you've pointed out. It's pertinent. Thanks again
Teri Comment by: Teri - 2006-10-17 10:26
Add to Readers
      
Very poignant and rather sad. I love your word choices. One suggestion/correction: "Leftovers of a hunger appeased". I'd get rid of a few of the commas here and there as they lend unneeded pauses and break the rhythm a little. Minor thing. The rhymes are wonderful and not one reads as forced, something rhyming poetry usually is and why it annoys me, but not here. Very clean work, Vinay. Thank you for sharing. T.
1

Sponsored Ads


By VB 16

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S