Before being diagnosed with MS nineteen years ago, I spent my free time hunting, fishing, camping, tracking, and living close to nature. Now I can use the skills I learned back then in my everyday battle to survive.

Have you ever tried to find dental help when all you have to live on is an itty-bitty SSDI check? No matter how hard you hunt for help, fish for answers, or camp on the bureaucrat's doorstep (providing you can track one down) you can expect to be told to live closer to nature! I guess that they think we will not get tooth decay because we cannot afford candy.

Although I was considered above average at what I did, the system in which I now find myself calls for more ingenuity, perseverance, and control of myself than anything I had previously known. The first gauntlet I had to run was the Social Security
system where I was fortunate to get a free refresher course on patience. I had the opportunity to use all of the waiting skills I had learned while hunting and fishing, as well as the chance to live closer to nature than I would like to admit, while the government stalled. I learned that it takes at least nine months for you to get your first check regardless of your disability. I believe this delay is part of a well-planed program that is designed to allow you to die quietly, and penniless.

If you live in the country or in a small town and use mobility equipment, your accessibility is limited by the environment you have chosen to live in. I quickly learned that the only places I could go in my small hometown were the bank and the convenience store. I will let you guess why, but I can guarantee that you had to visit one before you could afford to visit the other.

'Why don't you move into a bigger city?'� I heard this over and over until I decided to do it. It wasn't until I went hunting for the elusive accessible house or apartment that I had ever been on the bag holding end of a snipe hunt. The help I received from people in the know was only surpassed by the people that did not know. I again had the opportunity to use the unique skills that I had been perfecting the previous years. The answer to the why don't you move question slowly became all too clear.

The only thing that had not been slowed by the 'system'� was the progression of my illness. What I needed now was a reliable helper to enable me to remain at home
and be as independent as possible. I said and did all of the right things (jumping through the hoops on cue) until I got the approval to have what I needed. At this time I thought that I would be assigned a personal attendant that had been checked out by the state. After all, this person would be paid by the state, therefore it is logical to assume that the state would check into their past. (Wrong!!!) I was given a paper with all of my information on it (how many hours and how much per hour) and a firm handshake that nearly caused me to fall out of my wheelchair. Along with a 'good luck'�, I was sent on my merry way free to hire anyone of my choosing. This might have been a plus under other circumstances, but I knew no one because I had recently moved to that area in order to receive this service.

A few days later I got a list of possible PA's from the local CIL, thinking that this reputable organization would have only the best and brightest. I was shocked to learn that the CIL not only did not know anything about the people on the list, but also did not want to know anything. As a result, my first PA, (personal attendant), robbed me of the few things of value I had left and the need to live close to nature returned.

It appears that the skills needed to survive have not changed much over the years. You still have to know how to hunt, fish, track, and live close to nature. The only thing that has really changed is the name of the game.


John Braswell ã 2006

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