Will I Sleep Again
The wind was beginning to pick up now. So much so that the car would actually rock ever so slightly as the whistling sound filled the interior. The heat inside my car didn't seem to last more than a few moments until the bitter cold from outside would find its way in and make it necessary to start the engine and run the heater in attempts to remain warm.
I knew I would not be able to withstand another night sleeping in my car - even if I was able to stay awake all night and continue to run the engine for warmth. Although, I wasn't sure I'd be able to withstand another night in that house either. Maybe if I could just stay out long enough - bare the frigid temperatures a little while longer - maybe then it would be 'safe' to venture into the house and find warmth in my own bed. It sure would eliminate the possibility of freezing to death, but it wouldn't offer much more comfort or rest then just forcing myself to remain awake until morning.
It's 2:00am - certainly all is quiet at home. It should be safe - well, at least warm and dry. It started snowing about an hour ago and the roads are now covered with a powdery, white fluff as is everything else in sight. The air is so cold - it sends a chill to my very core - a chill that I just can't seem to shake. I must take my chances in that house because the numbness I'm now noticing is a sure sign that I won't last much longer out in this weather tonight.
As my car creeps down the snow-covered road to my house, I turn out the headlights just before turning into the drive. Maybe other teenagers have done this to avoid getting into trouble for missing curfews. I unconsciously douse the lights to avoid waking an evil predator - to hopefully allow myself the cover of night to slip unnoticed into my room.
I pull up into the driveway and shut off the engine. I turn the interior light switch off so that when I open the car door no light announces my arrival. I take only my keys - trying to enter the house as quietly and covertly as possible.
As I round the garage into the breezeway I whisper to the dogs in the pen - to gently alert them to my presence so they recognize me and bypass their usual serenade of barking. They run to the gate of the pen, tails wagging, patiently waiting for me to throw them a treat. I grab three biscuits from the container outside of the pen and toss each dog their reward for their silence.
I turn and step up to the screen door. We never enter the house through our front door - for some reason it was always this door - the kitchen door - that was used as our main entrance.
I reached for the screen door's handle and gently depressed the button to release the latch and pull open the door. Even the barely noticeable 'click' as the door was unlatched made my heart race for fear that any noise at all would surely alert those inside to my arival.
After a brief pause, to assure myself that the faint 'clicking' sound of the screen door opening was not heard by anone other than myself, I proceeded to insert my key into the lock. Taking careful aim of course to avoid any unnecessary fumbling at the lock. As the key slid into the lock, I gently turned it counter-clockwise and the door unlocked.
I slowly pushed open the kitchen door revealing an eerie darkness from within. I waited, as if expecting someone to appear before me. Then carefully stepped inside. Holding onto the screen door, I let it close without latching then gently turned the knob on the kitchen door and closed it without a sound. For fear of making unnecessary noise I left the chain off the door and only turned the deadbolt to 'lock us in'.
I then stood silent for a moment, planning my next move. I needed to open the door to the cellar and get down squeaky steps with as little noise as possible. After arriving home in this manner quite frequently, you being to remember which steps squeak and just where and how lightly to step so your descent is void of the usual clatter made racing up and down the stairs during the day.
Almost without breathing, I slide the wooden door on its track unveiling the stairwell of darkness. Not wanting to draw any attention to myself whatsoever, I leave all interior lights off - making my descent even trickier. I enter the stairwell and stand silent and still on the top landing allowing my eyes to adjust to the darkness.
All the while my heart is racing and my ears are constantly scanning for any sounds of movement within the house. Once my eyes have adjusted and I can see the outline of the landing below I begin to make my way down the stairs.
Carefully, one step at a time - one foot in front of the other - steadying myself with the handrail I make my way to the basement - to my room - to my chamber of hell.
Then a momentary lapse, a simple miscounting of steps and the quietude that I was so grateful for was gone - as the step below my foot squealed out as if announcing an intruder.
My heart stopped, fear filled every inch of me - surely everyone in the house heard that. Even those in the deepest of sleep couldn't help but be awakened by such a loud sound breaking the dead silence of the night.
I was frozen. I couldn't move. I felt as though I couldn't breath, but of course I was breathing. I surely would have lost consciousness by now if I were not.
Although I could not believe that no one was awakened by this, I could not hear anyone moving upstairs. I couldn't just stand in the stairwell all night so I forced myself to let go of the death grip I had on the banister and took the last three steps that led to the basement.
I opened the door to my room and closed it quietly behind me. Cold, frightened and completely exhausted I made my way toward my bed. I slipped off my shoes and without changing another thing, crawled under the covers and pulled them up tight around my neck. I was warm now, but could I rest? Would I be allowed to sleep this night? Only time would reveal the anwswer to that question.......
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