Looking in my mirror the other day
relieved that my hair wasn't all bald and completely grey
yet, like I had dreamt during the nightmare last night

In my reflection for a while
I think about the nightmare of the past couple years
Try to see clearly the events that did all this damage.
Reality has hosted nightmares that I never thought would come about,
outside of a fleeting night terror here and there.

Last night, sleep absorbed the yin version of my hair check episode,
left the safe, positive yang outcome for reality.

I haven't slept much through this term of living horrors
I wonder if awake, both the yin and yang of living had to absorb.

I walk outside and see a big dead black bird
right outside the door - stiff and on it's back with
claws straight up.

I'm wondering if this bird now sleeps away 100% of the negative
with no pain left to live through. Now, it's all being dreamt away?

Then I wonder if the bird can only have the nightmares now,
without any of the lucid relief that waking up brings
when it gives us another chance, a better outcome.

I worry that if the bird were to have more nightmares,
he'll never awake again to know that they aren't real
so his nightmares will never end.

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