'I saw you faggots at the nude section,'� cracked my roommate.
'Did ya!'� I replied.
'How can you do that shit, that's just nasty!'� he continued.
'What's so nasty about it?'� I asked.
'I saw your towel right next to Robbie's. That's just too close for two naked guys.'� He lectured with a crumpled up face. In the following weeks Wayne found great fun in spreading all kinds of nude beach stories to anyone who would listen. Now the central figure of a newly formed group of generally white overweight spineless fucks, they pooled together whenever the opportunity arose and would have great fun at heckling me. At first it really didn't bother me; I knew that my roommate's dumb comments were really all in good fun. Only among the teasers another group had formed, one that was very intolerant and absorbed in their hate. These guys seemed to take my visits to the nude beach very personally and started using whatever means necessary to ostracize me from their less radical circle of friends. As the summer moved on Wayne and his network of nude beach haters did their best at making my life miserable, the worst of it always seemed to happen in the Air Force chow hall where they would group together and egg each other on. I had hoped that the jokes would at one point fizzle out but the heckling only got harsher and more personal. Now, no longer able to freely go about my business I decided to choose my activities more deliberately in order to avoid them. This brought me to the decision to eat in the Army mess hall. It was an inconvenient move at first, but I was rewarded many fold over. Not only did the Army serve much better food but, the teasers seemed to have forgotten about me.

One afternoon Jay walked in our room. 'Hay Wayne!'� he said reaching over a started bottle of plum schnapps, 'lets go to the beach.'� Off they were, after parking, they made their way along the rows of cars, on toward the crowd of bathers. Now approaching the sand, they were greeted by two sexy looking Fraulines that Jay knew from the club. The one had squeezed herself into a very skimpy bikini, the other was sporting a loose top and hot pants, basically, just the kind of action the two horney studs were looking for.
'Damn this is really working out,'� Wayne thought to himself as they walked toward the crowded lakeside, but the brauds didn't make the turn toward the overfilled beach, they kept on going, entering a path on the side of the lake, continuing past a big sign marked FKK (Freie Korper Kultur), which Wayne barely even took notice of. He didn't give a shit about some sign in crout, fuck the Germans, they were always postin signs.
Wayne had since fallen in a sort of trance, his eyes fixed on Ingrid's backside he as fantasized to himself. All he knew was that he wanted some pussy and the way things were turning out he was gona get some. Ring, Ring, the girls, who were up ahead instinctively moved to the right and out of the way. Wayne followed suit looking over his shoulder only to be greeted by a fat guy, completely naked, accept for his shoes, riding a bicycle. Taken back by this otherwise bizarre sight, he stared, drawn to the guys pale white spongy ass, which in its own right was quite impressive, hanging over the seat shaking, while the middle aged freak, who couldn't have been happier, energetically peddled his way down the bumpy path. The girls, who weren't fazed by this at all, turned down a foot path which lead them to the lake. Without hesitating they dropped their bags and stripped down, butt ass naked. 'Oh my god!'� gasped Wayne who had lost control of his eyes passionately staring at Ingrid who was bent over her towel, unintentionally displaying her round bare ass and taco. 'It can't get any better than this.'� He thought to himself. But then he realized that if he wanted to enjoy this luxury he was going to have to strip as well. His feeling of excitement changed over to a strong sense of insecurity, realising that if the chicks noticed that his excitement barometer had risen he would be kicked out of his new found paradise. Wayne did his best to mentally block out what was laying down right in front of him, forcing himself to think back to the men's locker room after football practice. Hairy, chunky, sweaty, teenage guys, strutting around the locker room popin zits in the mirror, 'shit ain´t workin!'� he thought to himself hoping to regain controll over his half hard pud. Wayne went on to spread his towel next to Jays. He quickly pulled off his shorts and turned away, hoping the angle would hide his pulsating passion pistol. Now naked, he dropped down to his stomach and closed his eyes mentally forcing himself back to those past football days. Jay didn't seem to have a problem with the new situation; he sat their Indian style in the buff, chatting away like it was nothing. The bottle of Schnapps had since been polished off and was taking its tool. Wayne was beginning to feel more at ease with the new found fun; he decided that he liked hanging out with naked chicks, besides he thought grinning to himself, 'this gave them an opportunity to see his Big American Dick!!'� Jay threw on some shorts and took off for a new bottle of Plum. Now alone with the girls, Wayne decided it was time to actively start pursuing some pussy. With a charming half drunken grin he turned to Hanalora and did his best to smooth in, 'I ah, hip! Ah! Could help ya, hep! Out with dat, sun tan oil.'� 'Damn!'� he thought to himself, 'that didn't come out so well.'� Hanalora was not impressed; she thanked him and then demonstratively turned toward Ingrid, the new angle keeping her pleasure pocket out of sight from the over the top horney GI. Wayne had since become the topic of discussion amongst the girls who were chatting away in German, both of them taking quick glances and then laughing at the first timer, whose ass seemed to have a wobbly florescent sort of glow about it. Wayne, who didn't understand a word, was too absorbed by the workings of the alcohol, which had been magnified by the sun, to realize that he was being laughed at. Nature calling, he got up and stumbled across the sand over to the woods. Grabbing a branch for stability he pissed away as a pervert excitedly watched from behind a bush. The chicks must have seen this as a sign to leave because by the time Wayne stumbled back to the little lagoon they were half dressed and packing their shit together. The girls said a quick farewell and made their way back into the woods, leaving Wayne and Jay there all by themselves with the rest of the bottle.
'Did you see Ingrid's tits?'� Wayne said excitedly, 'I just wanted'� Wayne took another swig, 'to roll over and fuck her!'� Wayne admitted grinning.
'I did!'� said Jay grinning, enjoying the look of shock and then jealousy on Wayne's face.
'Fuck you!'�
'� I'm serious'� Jay took another swig.
'You fuckin dog! Man!'� said Wayne first shaking his head and then leaning back on his towel looking over the lake. 'Hay ya wanta take a swim?'� asked Jay.
'Ya!'� said Wayne, grabbing the bottle taking another swig, but they never did. Laying their they relaxed enjoying the warm sun and their drunkenness.

'O fuck!'� Jay yelled looking at his watch. 'Wayne! Wake up!'� said Jay.
'Fuck you!'�
'Wayne, get up I gota to go to work!'�
'Fuck you!'� Jay got up put his shorts on and rolled up his towel.
'Wayne get the fuck up!'�
'Fuck you!'�
'Fine!'� Jay turned around and left hurrying off to his job at the club.

Four and a half hours later, dusk was setting in over the Frankfurt horizon, the Waldorf sea outside the Air Base was now all but empty, the guests having long since packed and left for the day. A cool breeze had picked up off the lake waking Wayne, who was still lying drunk and naked on his towel. Blinking his eyes, he lifted his head and looked down over his body. The intense rays from the late June sun had scorched his unprotected honkey ass, baking him on the one side to very reddish shade of pink. Sitting up was no picnic either, by now his skin was so dry and burnt that any type of movement what so ever, set off waves of tear jerking pain throughout his body. He walked over to his clothes and slowly got dressed, gently draping his shirt over his charred shoulders leaving it unbuttoned. Grabbing his towel, cold, tired, burnt to a crisp and still pretty intoxicated he made his way back down the path and turned to climb a steep bank leading to the street. Leaning over, pulling on the scrubs for support as he angrily talked to himself, finally reaching the top of the hill where he continued on toward the base. His feet were already numb from walking in flip flops. Now, miles away from any toilet or shower and starting to sober up a bit, he began to realize that his crotch was full of sand. Every step seemed to be more painful than the last, the tiny sharp little grains of sand adding thousands of little tears to the already pink skin. After several minutes of experimenting with different less painful styles of walking he finally came up with a very slow bowl legged version which was uncomfortable but not painful. Now over the last little hill he saw it his goal, the American Legion, where Jay was working. Common sense had never been one of Wayne's strengths, he was, sweaty, smelly, burnt, hungry, and thirsty but most of all he was horney.'Ya!'� he thought to himself, not able to get Ingrid's shaved little bush out of his mind, 'I'm gona go to the Legion!'� Thirty minutes later he stumbled in to the bar, ordered a beer and continued on to the disco in the basement. 'Ya that was more like it!'� he thought to himself, the place was packed with brauds lookin to pick up a GI. He sort of swayed to the beat and tried to smooth in with a German girl, who, wasn't really digin, his vibe. Rejected, the stud walked away. Now on the other side of the disco he fantasized, looking over at the girl again, staring at her long blond hair, her small nose, her round ass and tits. 'Ah ya!'� he said to himself before taking a swig of beer. By now Wayne's penetrating stare was beginning make the girl feel very uncomfortable. Carefully glancing over in her stalkers direction she recognized him. Wayne who was staring right back at her looked disturbing at best, his mouth hanging open accented by his drunken iced over glare. But, Wayne couldn't help himself; she was perfect, 'Her mouth, her high cheek bones, her smooth white skin and slightly open blouse. God she was fine!'� he whispered to himself. Feeling invaded the young German boldly glanced over at him again. 'She's havin second thoughts'� Wayne thought, polishing off the bottle before walking back over to her.
'Hay, like I was wonderin,'� his eyes shifting toward her slightly open blouse. 'If you like, ah, wanted to, ah, like to dance or somthin!'�
'I've got a boy fwiend!'� answered the Frauline with a strong German accent. Wayne left for the bar, his disappointment rapidly turned into psychotic anger. After starting in on another beer, he looked over at the bitch that had just shot him down, and took a swig and another and another.


The Wayne incident triggered a slew of complaints from a multitude of outraged female guests threatening to go else ware if the problem wasn't addressed. Jay was called to the scene. Walking over to where he was seated Jay stood in front of him. Wayne did his best to ignore him, continuing to look in the same direction with a blank expression.
'Wayne! Wayne!'� he yelled over the music.
Wayne looked over at him, still pissed about the beach. '�Fuck you!'�
'Wayne! Wayne! Listen you better knock that shit off!'�
Wayne looked away and took another swig of beer 'Fuck you!'�
Jay was caught in a dilemma with what to do with his obnoxious friend, hoping the situation would solve its self he walked over to the doorway where he could keep an eye on Wayne while nursing a beer and flirting with Ingrid. Walking down to the discotheque I was greeted by Jay who begged me to try and bring Wayne home but my attempts proved to be every bit as fruitless as his.
Pushing my way back upstairs past Jay I was stopped again.
'Hay! Wait! Wait! Dick! Come here!'�
'What!'� I yelled over the music.
'Come out to my car in 15 minutes!'� pause, 'I want to show ya somethin!'� he said looking at me grinning. 'In fifteen minutes!'� he repeated.
Ten minutes later I was standing outside the bar with a bunch of guys from work.
'Did Jay tell you to come out here too?'� Tom asked puffin on a cigarette,
'Yap'� I answered. We chatted for a while and waited, each of us impatiently looking at our watches.
'Fuck this, I'm goin back inside!'� announced Fred firing his cigarette butt on the ground.
Tom, Keith and I, decided to hold out for a little longer, we kept drinkin beer as we walked around the parking. Turning the corner around the last row of cars brought us in plain sight of Jays Chevette which had been parked so that the flood light was shining right in the back window. There they were plane as day, two female legs sticking up toward the ceiling and Jays big glow in the dark ass, as the tiny compact car rocked away. We thought this was a real hit and ducked behind a car continuing to watch; Jay who had been waiting for us would occasionally glance over in our direction and sneak in a wave.


An hour later back in the bar we couldn't have been in better spirits, all of us proud of being Jay's friend. This last act set him head and shoulders above the rest of us, proving that in fact he was the rawest of the bunch. A status honouring him with a certain type of clout among the other young impressionable GI´s. In the mean time back in the disco Wayne was starting to make a real scene. He was so frustrated about getting shot down time and time again,' from those fuckin conceded cunts. Those fuckin bitches and fuckin Jay, that fuckin asshole, he had left him drunk and naked on the beach to roast that fuck, and the other guys that were making fun of him now that he was good and drunk, those two faced cock suckers!'� He would show them! Leaning back in his chair supporting himself on the table behind him he tilted his head way back.
'Sccchbp!'� He made this sound from deep in his throught like he was going to cough up some flemm. Some guests who formerly haddent been paying attention to him stopped what they were doing and stared.
'Stff!'� Wayne spit a juicy, snot loaded wad on the ceiling.
'Eaaa! That's disgusting!'� screamed the young Air Force clerk jumping away from the general area where the wad was starting to drip down on the other guests, some of whom were too intoxicated to have registered what was going on. The clerk's friend didn't stick around though; she took straight for the bartender.
'Scchup!'� Wayne was coughing up his second lugie, by this time the people in the crowded disco Tec had pulled away from the GI gone mad forming a circle around him watching in disgust.
'Stff!'� another big lugie on the ceiling. He never got around to coughing up the third, two bouncers grabbed the 240 pound squirming drunk and carried him up the stairs and threw him out the front door.

John and I decided to return to the base. On our way out the front door we saw the ass and back of someone laying head first in a bush. It turned out to be Wayne; both of us each with one hand on his belt pulled the heavy passed out drunk out of the schrub. He fell backwards and hit the ground with a loud thud. We watched him rool around in the dirt for a while and then started back for the base which brought us down a bicycle trail. A paved unlit path about three feet wide, leading along the base perimeter through a densely wooded forest which was formerly a concentration camp. We continued on for about five minutes through the woods, a walk that always gave me an uneasy feeling accompanied with a craving to check behind me. Then I saw a bicycle marked by its light approaching us from behind. The rider, seeing us hit his bell, which is so common among German bicycles, 'Ching, Ching, Ching, Cing!'� Looking up to see who it was I was greeted us with an outstretched arm and middle finger by Wayne who was smiling from ear to ear floating down the trail atop a stolen bike. 'Wayne!!'� I yelled as the goofy drunk peddled by us. 'You fuckin ass hole!'� He continued on, speeding down the narrow path rushing toward the back gate quickly pulling away from us. We watched as him ride down the path following the red light on the bikes fender as it wove from the one side of the trail to the other. The inevitable happened, their was a smash and the light went out. A two or three minute walk brought us to the scene of the accident. Wayne had passed out and ran right into a tree. The front wheel was folded in half and the forks were pressed in. 'Wayne! Wayne! Are you OK!'� we heard some rustling in the woods as Wayne emerged from out of the undergrowth full of dirt holding his head. He stumbled over to the other side of the path and fell back on the ground. Aware that their was nothing we could do we continued on walking over a bridge. 'Haaaaa!'� Wayne was holding the bike over his head running for the bridge he stopped short of the hand rail launching the worthless hunk of metal in to the water but the momentum built up in the run was too much to stop, bringing him right over the hand rail where he fell onto the muddy bank and tumbled down to the stream. We continued on to the back gate which we hopped over and went to the dorm. Not wanting to be awoken by the nut when he finally made it back to the dorm I slept on Jeffs couch returning back the next morning to a butt naked burnt beat red roommate sprawled out on the floor with a huge hunk of skin gouged out of his head. A week later Wayne had a dark tan, where his skin wasn't blistered up and peeling off. The gouge in his head had since healed leaving him with a pale white spot on his head. He had since acquired a new name, Gorbatroph, and his views on the nudists had changed as well, after all Jay had no problems with being nude so ho bad could it be? The teasing and jokes abruptly came to an end, as news of Wayne's insanity spread like wild fire. Now the same group fickle fucks that were once teasing me about my nude beach visits were not grouping up on Wayne for being such a freak. And what can you learn from all this? I don't know either it just happened.

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