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Catch 22, I Guess I Died With You
I fell down to one knee
One hand pressed against an oak tree
blood trickles from out of my wrist
I wrote everything out on a list
You bitch, you whore, you fucking cunt
I'll kill you, you fucking runt
I threw her to the floor
Her lover dead by the door
I grabbed my shotgun
And told her "Bitch you better run"
As I blew her brains to the wall
From blood, I slipped, I fall
As I fell down on my ass
I landed on some glass
It slit my wrist wide open
"Shit I left my phone in
My old pick up truck
God oh fuck oh fuck"
I ran out threw the door
My body can't take no more
I fell down to one knee
One hand pressed against an oak tree
Blood trickles from out of my wrist
I fall to the floor, "Will I ever be missed."
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| im really not impressed by this one bro. Its kinda twisted. I really dont like the line "I fell to the down on one knee" it doesnt read well. |
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| I like this poem - it's angry and makes me feel better knowing i'm not the only one who writes morbidly...lol - good job! |
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Comment by: - 2006-11-07 03:30
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OK, Josh, whatever turns you on. I knew that book was an evil inspiration...
I think there are a few changes to be made in this one:
"I fell to the down to one knee"
"blood truckles" (trickles?)
"I grabbed my I grabbed my shotgun" (intentional?)
"I slipped, I fall"
"I run out" (ran out) |
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| lol I tried to write something different with this one. I tried to put myself in the hands of a person like O.J simpson, but kill the main character off too. |
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| This is pretty violent for me... but I really like how it reads. The only line I don't was "... I fell down on my ass/I landed on some glass..) Seriously though, this flows very well. |
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