'Extra rice?'� I asked.


I remembered the time he asked me this, but now, it's exactly the same offer I gave. Thus, I'll narrate to you the story of this question: On how I first heard it, and how i first said it.


...:::::::...


Trickling. A drop of sweat ran down my nape. The school's cafeteria gave me a swimming feeling, not a nice one, but one that makes you feel drowned. I am having time wherein all your senses feels like dysfunctional; blame these all to the engulfing feeling of being new. See? With all these unknown faces, having no idea which one is harmless to befriend, who then will not feel an automatic-senses shutdown?


It seems that a spotlight was lit to follow me. As I walk down the aisle to find a place to sit, in spite of my gawkiness, I managed to pick a table where a harmless lone guy is seated.


'Ah, hi.. I am, uhm, new here.. and since you know-uh, would you mind if--'� It was a blunty crappy blurt of mine, but i was cut off by the sudden frown melt-down on his handsome face. It as such a sweet smile, that it made me comfy and welcome. That's why maybe, I didn't hesitate to sit right in front, facing him.


I ate in awkward silence. He just then smiled slicing his steak and gave some chew. I also did my eating, and when I finished my rice, he asked...


'Extra rice?'�


There, he pointed, the middle of our table, where a plate of rice rests. I just told him i was full and drank some juice. This was our first lunch, also the first time I heard him ask that question.


...:::...


Everyday I made sure I catch him eating lunch at the cafeteria. Jake was really shy at first, but I managed to know a lot of things about him. I always caught him on the middle of his lunch eating alone, and whenever i approach him, he suddenly smiles like an innocent child. Eventually, i made other friends other than him, but i chose to eat my lunch with him everyday. On the other hand, i discovered that Jake has no friends in school because many think he's weird. They just don't know how to widen up their horizon's with Jake's philosophies, that to my conclusion, brought up by his own sensitive,shy yet caring nature.


On our lunch everyday, never did he failed to ask me this question:


'Extra rice?'�


Funny, I never took his offer. Maybe I thought there was poison in it in some sort, or it just that I have a small appetite. But to my surprise one day, his offer was replied differently.


'Extra rice?'� he asked.


'You know what? I think I am hungry today.'� And so I ate it without hesitation. After all, my chicken curry was superb. After finishing up, I then asked the question I longed to ask.


'Jake, why do you always offer me your extra rice?'�


It came off naturally; I don't even expect an answer.


'Correction, it was not my extra rice, it is my only rice. I just always asked if you wanted mine to be your extra.'�


I then was dumb-founded. Jake never failed to mesmerize me. True enough, on the past three months, i never saw Jake eating rice before i arrive to disturb his meal. He only eats rice after I turned his offer down.


'You always caught me on the half way of my lunch, but the truth of it, I never ate rice on my plate before you always arrive, I just did some food-slicing as I wait for you. You see, when you werent still here, I was alone and friendless. I am lonely. Sad. Regard the rice as my trust. I trusted you extra extra, and I just waited until you learn to trust me. I am happy that now, you do... fully.'�


For others, it may sound pathetic. But i felt different. I was touched. If only people follow the same process. If only we have the skill of waiting. If we didn't just rush things up, trust will form slowly, because like love, and anything else in this world, everything needs time to form, time to grow, time to learn, and time to surrender.'�


'�'�'�


And so the next day, when the lunch bell rang, I dashed from my classroom to the cafeteria the fastest that I could. I wanted to make sure I came up first on our table, and placed my rice in the center of the table. I took up his seat and waited for him.


Now, the drowning feeling I had when I first met him came to my senses once again. But now, I felt lighter than before, all my senses functioning properly. My heart is open, and thus opened my eyes, my ears my sense of feelings. I felt free because trust set me flying with happiness.


From some strange reason, I felt this time that the spotlight no longer follows me, but him as he walks towards me. He then smiled as soon as he approached on our table and smiled with the sweetest smile I ever seen in his face. He just ate as I pretended slicing my pork chop. I watch him ate, and as he finishes his rice, I then asked him the question he always asked.

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