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Shit
I wanted to get away
for a while
So I took your car
and wrapped it round a tree
shit
My actions are without concequence
My concience absent without
any real feeling
at all
Parallell Red Lines
Stretched out make a mile
So I take my pills
wrap myself in myself
and smile
warm wet face
never in denial
I am already
deathly and dead
Walking a line
of dumb numb
scum
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Comment by: - 2007-03-06 10:47
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| love this. that's about all i can say. love it. |
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| As Stephen said, great opening lines- this should stand as a short poem on its own, but then you extend it well, adding retrospection and inner reflection. The speaker seems to want to deny any feeling, yet plenty is present, a strange paradox. A few spelling mistakes aside, this has promise. |
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Comment by: lofty - 2006-11-11 18:31
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| one of your best |
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| Love the first stanza. All the imagry present is good. |
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Comment by: - 2006-11-08 11:01
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| This is a great description of apathy/angst, Lana. It reminds me of my punk rock attitude... who cares, we'll all be dead one day anyhow? Excellent. |
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