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The battle of heart and sea
saddest expressions
from tear staind faces
blood shot eyes
to cover the spaces
of a heart in place
to do the killing
remember my words
as at your feet im kneeling
"ill cut you down
and crush your dreams
put a knife in your heart
and rip out the seams"
of lifes great tragedy
a soul of unrest
I gave you my all
"Captain, i confess"
"I beg you forgive me"
"Walk the plank"
"This is your punishment
for filling my blank"
"Any last words before you go"
"In fact i do since you asked
These 2 and a half years,
have been a blast
I want you to know i love you
but since you insist that I leave
Ill tear the memories from my heart
and with my head believe
Pretend you dont care
as i taste the sea
but one fact reigns true
i loved unconditionally
I wish i had some clever way to say
That i hate us now and all weve become
I mean We would lay and talk captain
but now we're just coming undone.
So before i go
What i've been trying to say
I Cant let go captain
but you dont want me to stay
So goodbye captain
my death awaits me
into the sea
my waves now betray me
I guess ive been stalling
thinking you'd ask me to stay
but you mean it this time
My hearts in your way
So jump he did
and with a thunderous splash
his soul became hers
as the waves crashed
He still calls from the seas depths
and she went on to conquer ships
his heart cries from his watery prison
And he only tastes the seas salty lips
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Comment by: - 2007-07-07 23:54
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| Intense feelings conveyed here, not just one. A broken heart, the sadness of saying goodbye, the betrayal you felt, the pleading for one last chance, and you watching once was yours and loved come undone right before your eyes. As you walked the plank it changed into more narrative, of the sea and salty lips. What his demise was, her salty lips, he lived for the sea and she betrayed him. Wow, I really was drawn in to your words and the precision of words you wrote. Talented and well spoken, nice structure. The point from the man from ship to sea, was done well. Sometimes it's difficult but you did it with ease, for the reader to understand exactly what you were trying to convey. Thank you for your work and sharing. I enjoyed this and will probably read it again. |
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| Sad...but written well. |
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| Again I really like this. I like your style, and the intense emotion you pack behind each phrase. |
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| Great Piece. I have it on my shelf. Nice imagery with the emotions you attached to it. Only one error I think. seas should have been sea's salty lips. Just a minor typo. Thanks for the read |
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| Loved your final stanza. |
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