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Because of you
The angel in her ceased to be,
Darkness found her soul,
Filled her with corruption,
Malevolence to the bone,
A vile poison became her blood,
Perversity her nature,
From innocent to insolent,
And all because of you.
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Comment by: - 2007-06-16 19:08
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| I like the fact that there was something happening and changing in a mind all because of one person. I can relate. |
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I like it but it could flow a little more.
I'm not trying to sound mean.
The words were beautiful but you ended it so soon.
I think you should've made it longer and added a little more detail on what he/she did.
But other than that
Good job. :) |
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Comment by: - 2006-11-11 07:34
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| That's right, Hanna, blame him. It's always his fault. She could go round chopping people's heads off, it'd all be his fault. But if he also finds his soul filled with darkness, it's all his own fault - he deserves it. Good poem, I love the last line. |
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| :-) Hanna, this would be excellent if you tidy up the first and fifth lines. The innuendo is unmissable in the first, but I sense that was unintentional given the nature of this piece. The third person (relevant to self) works very well, and overall it's a very good poem. I enjoyed, except for chuckling at the first line. |
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