my mangled victim
follows me
faithful dog
his contorted shadow
stretches on dead grass

i find no comfort
walking through my door
i smell no longer
the quaint odor of oldness
no sigh of relief
slides out when i slide
the deadbolt each night

my joyful hideout
my paradise pride
is now a motel
with me as the maid

stains on the new plush carpet
mud in the springwater
never-made-it flowerbeds
dank rank mystery under the bathroom linoleum

and last but not least
his BELONGINGS
a lifetime of paraphenalia
pushing the ceiling down
clogging up the attic room
threatening our lives
with their incredible weight
oh god, i HAVE TO scream and wail
or suffocate and die

then they'd click their tongues
and speculate
swapping tall veronica tales
over ice cream sundaes

i know he feels my shrieking
as it ricochets off his
thin but permanently embedded armor
it attached itself
to his unattached infant body
the day she squeezed him out

but his mother never noticed
while she changed his diapers
and raised him up
to be a good boy
everyone knows little boys
should be seen
not heard

don't talk back
don't talk at all
it's all your daddy's fault
thank god we have JOHN now
oh and by the way
you will mind JOHN
he's your father now

raised him right alright
until one day
he left for good
went off and found
his own glass house

and there he stayed
he became his habits
slumping shoulders
shuffling feet
lightless eyes
frightening trips to the liquor store
and full service stations

don't answer the bell
it might be a well-meaning friend
or worse

take-out nutrition
touchtone cocaine
the c.o.d. life
dead daddy's money
searing his hips

follow me son
easy easy now
whatever you do
don't you FEEL

i'm leaving you this
so you won't have to hurt
it's all the legacy
i have to offer

... until i came
and knocked with vigor
on an in-between-day
and the glass door opened

... time has passed
and wounds are healing
but even as a little girl
i never could
leave a scab alone

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