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Good People
Things are never the same these days.
Our childhoods were torn away.
Our fantasies have all been burned
Replaced by awful things we learned
About the place we're living in
With all its ugliness and sin
That beats us so we're cut and bruised
And anything we love, we lose.
Neglected and abandoned we
Are lonesome in our agony.
We don't deserve such endless pain.
What is it for? We can't explain.
It feels like a cruel punishment
How could we earn this consequence?
This suffering we know so well.
Why must good people live in hell?
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Excellent poem. Very emotive and reflective.Despite so much sufferings, when a person yearns for goodness, then it must be the divine self speaking.
Good work. |
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| This kinda reminds me of how we see things as children eyes we are happy so busy with our lifes we do not see the imperfections. When we grow up learn about heartbreak, we start making the hard decisions our parents made and we did not understand but condemned them for it. Now we are older and we visit where we were and every things seems smaller and different not so perfect as we remembered. It is a wonderful piece keep up the great writting. And we learn the awful fact that love can also hurt us, and it is not fair just is. Julie |
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| Must give a tender response to this read. You have captured suffering so well! I agree you are a gifted writer, Still so young with amazing wisdom! |
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Great piece, but didn't think it needed the forced ryhming, when it worked it was ace, when it didn't it was glaring.
You also mix past and present tense a few times: "Replaced by awful things we learned (past tense)
About the place we're living in" (present tense)
But thats easily correctable.
But still a damn fine piece, good length too. |
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Comment by: Casper - 2007-02-24 14:27
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| You're quite talented... I'm impressed, and I think I'm just going to repeat that which has already been commened "Very Deep And Emotional" |
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