I sat in the same chair today for well over five hours, I didn't ask for a toilet break or even to pop out for a sly smoke. I filled out four or five sheets of paper that had many and varied takes on the traditional, 'what do you feel you could bring to this company'� question. I smiled at everyone all of the time and I resisted the urge to steal any of the branded pens we had been given. I shook hands with three bright and bubbly young women who were all ten to fifteen years younger than me and who obviously loved their jobs. I did all of this for a job in a supermarket that pays minimum wage and doesn't offer a fixed contract or anything like it. A job that specifically numbers the amount of restroom breaks that are allowed on a standard eight and a half hour work day and requests that a form is filled out to monitor this. A job that will have me stocking chicken and bread and everything else at six AM on whatever day I have been told to work. I can right now imagine how demeaning it will feel to pull on the bright orange t-shirt before every shift in a florescent-lit locker room full of teenagers dealing manfully with hangovers or others in my position. Yet for all that I have my phone in my hand and I am willing it to ring and for Tanya or Stephanie or that other young woman at the interview to congratulate me on becoming the newest part of a retail giant.

'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Frank, happy birthday to youuuuu!'�
(Sounds of clapping now and my exaggerated attempts to blow out the candle are all caught on film. Julie is clapping as well and I nearly pause the tape there)
'So what'll you do now that you're a year older, hmm? Any big life plans?'�
'I plan'�'�
(My drunkenness is starting to become apparent to everyone in the room and there are hushed giggles as I try to stand on a chair. I wobble but Julie already has an arm on my leg to steady me)
'I am going to save more, drink less, smoke'�none and go to all of the places I have never been'�and I'm taking her with me!'�
(I get off the chair quite gracefully and receive a hug from Julie and applause from everyone else. It's here on the tape that the footage gets shaky so I fast-forward to the next part I know will be viewable and relive our trip to Achill one sunny afternoon.)

'Hello?'�
'Hello Frank this is Georgina from Beehive recruitment, how are you doing today?'�
Georgina was the one I could not remember from the interview, the nice young lady with the box of pens that she dished out generously while she hovered over our shoulders to answer any questions we might have.
'I am very well thank you Georgina, how about yourself?'�
'I am very well thanks, and I have some good news for you as well. We were delighted to see you at the interview and we would like to offer you the job! How does that sound?'�
I muster up every stray bit of energy I possess and make as good an imitation of being excited as possible while trying to get some general questions about bonus structures, union involvement etc into the mix. Georgina doesn't have any of the answers and seems at a loss as to what to do because as she tells me, 'I don't actually work for the company you see, we just recruit for them.'� I let it go and thank her once again for everything. I am now once again gainfully employed. This will take some getting used to.

'Clear the bay now and John will you make sure the gates are open for them to get in quickly. Here actually will you stand outside the gates so they know where we are here'�
I hear a low groan coming out of his mouth and he tries to shift his head to look at us. We tell him in hushed voices just to stay still and try not to talk. His eyes are opening now and I see the contrast of the whites of his pupils to the dried blood on his face. I start to pray to God, not that he'll make it but that he won't have enough energy to ask what happened. I have never been this scared in my life.
'Here it comes now'�now lets all move off'� come on. Lads you'll all have to move back that end, sure he needs space to back up.'� We do as we are told though I lag behind the rest of them and lean against a wall around the corner. I need to know he's okay, so I watch as closely as possible to what they are doing and hope it works. My gaze switches quickly to the forklift in the centre of the bay as I try to take in the enormity of the damage. The forklift is half covered in wooden palettes and several of the steel shelves have been pulled down as well. I am about to look back to him lying on the floor when something catches my eye. The wheel of the overturned forklift is still spinning, the bend in the axle almost making it look comical. Underneath the wheel from my point of view is the driver's seat, with my new jacket still wrapped around the back of it. My stomach instantly revolts and I vomit. I spend the next 15 minutes dry heaving as quietly as possible.

'Hello Frank its Georgina again from BeeHive. How are you today?'�
We go through the usual pleasantries and then she comes up with something unexpected-she has the answers to all the questions I put to her yesterday. She has probably not been off the phone all morning hunting this stuff down.
'Georgina thank you very much for that, that's all a big help I must say. Well now I guess I will see you all for induction on Thursday?'�
'I won't actually be there but Tanya should be popping in to see you are all alright and that'�Now there was just one other thing Frank'�'�
I hear a brief rustle of papers and the flipping through of pages.
'Now on your C.V. you gave into us first you put down that you had experience operating a forklift? We are actually looking for someone at the moment to work in the backstage area and'�'�
I interrupt her as quickly as possible and try to sound controlled.
'Yeah sorry about that but that's actually not meant to be on there'�can't actually drive one anymore.'�
'Well there is training involved with the position, and the nice thing is it's a set contract for a very good hourly wage. Is that something you would like to think about?'�
'I can't drive one anymore I'm afraid'�I have a medical condition that wont let me drive one of them anymore.'�
She doesn't seem to know what to say so for a few seconds we say nothing.
'Is it something serious? It's just we would have to know for insurance reasons and to know what work we would be able to let you do safely, you know?'�

'I can't just stay here with you like this. I can't watch you do this to yourself'�You haven't gone out of the house in days, when was the last time you saw the lads? You need some help on this Frank, I wanted to see you through it but I don't know how'�how am I meant to? How?'�
She has been crying ever since she started talking but only now she is noticing the tears. I'm temporarily left alone while she runs to the kitchen for a tissue and I try to think of something to say. I have the beginnings as she walks from the kitchen, through the hall and the open front door which she closes softly behind her.

This place is a maze of corridors and unmarked office doors but I found the canteen easily enough. I found a table in the corner and was almost immediately joined by a very nice named Joyce who works my section as well and who just started a week ago. We are talking about how I am finding my first day while I eat and she drinks coffee. I don't say this to her but I found it very hard going this morning as I have not moved around this much in a long while. My back is especially aching and I mention this casually to Joyce, who has plenty of advice and some kind words of sympathy. I think she knows I'm struggling. All in all though it has not been bad to wake up with a need to do something, to get shaved and showered and turn on the iron, to make sure you have enough cigarettes to last you the day and to make it to the bus stop on time. Before we head back downstairs to our section Joyce shares a little good news with me. Our big retailing employer is undergoing a 'style adjustment'� at the moment and in a few months time all of it's' employees will be kitted out in tasteful black t-shirts. It can't come soon enough.

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