I think those three weeks behind that counter influenced my attitude to women more than any other event, it made me wary. Not that I was a risk taker before I stole cigarettes for Juliette Lewis, but after it and still today I don't take risks or drop my guard easily and I am better off for it, I know that. I mean, it's not like I was enchanted by a stunning-looking yet cunning woman who talked nice but acted nasty. Juliette never pretended to be anything other than what she was, an average girl who worked weekends in a shop and stole cigarettes, John Player Blue, whenever she could. Whenever she couldn't, I did.
'You have to put anything over £20 here, John gives out shit if you don't, just be careful, I do often forget myself when it's busy'�
She was the first one to talk to me on my first day, John the shift manager wasn't in yet and she had orders to show me the ropes. Long blonde hair, looking cute to my eye in a store t-shirt and probably chewing gum as she pointed to a little safe underneath the till, I can't remember. She was interesting to me from the start, it made me feel more mature somehow just talking to her, more exposed to life. I smelt the cigarettes off of her clothes and instantly wanted to learn how to smoke.
'They're real strict about security though, do ya see all the cameras pointed at the tills? They'll catch ya if you go robbing!'�
'That's fairly crappy of them, did they have someone robbing off them before?'�
''�Dunno'�
She was the queen of the bored shirk of the shoulders, and that was often all I got when I asked her about her views on oddball customers or the impressive attention to security for a corner shop. She gave me the impression she knew, but the facts were so tedious it was worth little to say them. I would ask John, our supervisor in name only and he would hint at ex-employees having robbed things, but he was always watching the T.V. in the store-room or on the phone to his friends to satisfy my questions. Although John did nothing and Juliette gave the impression she would rather be doing anything else I liked working there, it was easy and the place was always over-staffed (another symptom of the owner's security mania). I would stand at the till on the far end of the wall, Juliette would take the busy one close to the door and John would emerge to cover Juliette's smoke breaks, usually once an hour. I only ever met the owner of 'Fitzsimmons'� once, when he caught me shovelling packs of 20 John Player Blue into a rucksack I had brought in especially for the occasion.

I look back on those three weeks and squirm, I did a few stupid things, but taking up smoking to impress a girl has to rank at the top, as the habit is still with me. I 'enjoyed'� my first one outside the store, down the road and behind a post-box as I didn't want to be seen by my parents to be smoking or by Juliette as I tried to learn how. I bought a packet of 10 on Sunday and was very proud to have worked through it by the following Friday, as I found them truly rank. Come Saturday I bought another packet, in work off Juliette and was thrilled to see that something I did had an energising effect upon her. She told me she didn't think that I smoked, and actually apologised for not offering me any smoke breaks before. I spent the rest of the day dreading having to go outside and have yet another smoke but enjoyed the attention, I thought we had connected.

Now before I relate my fall from grace I have to make a few things clear. The first point is that I was fascinated by the worldliness of Juliette, the chipped pink nail varnish she seldom touched up, the way she would pretend to flirt with the horny old men who shopped there or swapped innuendo with John, 5 years her senior and at least 7 stone overweight. I was not in love with her or anything stupid like that, I only ever actually met her 6 or 7 times, I was more consciously aware of her presence and her actions at all times. When she asked me to count her till as well as my own at the end of the day I smiled and let her go out to feed her habit. When it was obviously her turn to do the vacuuming I chuckled at her cheek when she took the hoover out and thought her work was done. When she asked me at the end of a slow Sunday shift when she asked me to help her steal as many cigarettes as we could get away with, I tried to say no but smiled and said yes.
'I rob them all the time, its really easy Tom. It's just I'm quitting next week (my heart plunged at this point) and it'd be nice to have a few packs spare, ya know?'�
'Yeah, definitely'�why are you leaving though?'�
I got the same shrug that usually greeted any question not concerned with how to print out Lotto tickets or void an item on the till, and we got to planning.
'John puts in new tapes into the recorders every morning when he gets in, so that's when I usually take mine. I'll talk to him and slow him down while you put like'�10 packs in a bag or something? And then however many you want yourself'�

The next time we were both in was a Saturday morning, and I was ready for action. I had specially emptied my school bag, worn my jeans with the big pockets and made sure to eat a big breakfast. I arrived at work early, found Juliette smoking outside and waiting for John. She laughed at my eagerness, told me she was leaving because she was bored of the place and lit up another cigarette, and even offered me one. John duly arrived and let us in, going straight to his cubby hole with Juliette in tow while I walked into the store room and started taking packets of cigarettes from the shelves and dumping them into my bag. Mid-way through and I heard a cough behind me, and turned to see a man with a thin head and a grey moustache looking sternly at me.

Now obviously I was fired, but it does me good to say no-one else was, as I took the rap for everything. I didn't see Juliette afterwards, she was out having a cigarette at the time instead of keeping John distracted. I was immediately escorted off the premises by Mr. Fitzsimmons, my bag was confiscated and I was informed how lucky I was not to be going to jail. On the way home I only cried a little and lit up the cigarette I had bummed off Juliette earlier that morning, and this time it didn't taste so bad.

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