writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
Phantasmagoria
Lyndsey Wetzel
United States, Iowa, Des Moines

Words: 205
Access: Public
Comments: 5

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




To Jesus.

Swing sets where I believed I could reach you,
perhaps instead I could tame my ignorance,
tape wings to my back (made of paper I
embossed with my tears and dyed with my
smoke and good intentions gone wrong).

Days passing by
With nothing to measure
but the intensity
of cotton mouth.

Somehow I will capture the dust in my eyes
and I will box it up and label
every fragment inappropriately
and write the code on my wrist,
take a picture and send it to you.

And upon your benevolence,
(Anti-violence, Buddha,
I cried,
He sometimes held me)
you will unlock and
understand.

Where content meets character,
I never knew I could be so dull.
I never knew I could be so dull.
So soon,
Keep your eyes open.

I have done this before.
I have played and I have prayed,
to things unseen and unspoken
miles away.

What is up your sleeve and whose heart did you place there?
If the water gets too deep it will be me reaching for it.

Sipping blood and eating bones.
Nothing I believe in.

So give me something,
Something low tide and revealing.
I'll sip it slow and I will
remorse when it is over.

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
AJSmith Comment by: AJSmith - 2007-01-16 07:17
Add to Readers
      
I'd almost call this an abstract poem, with the ideas that just keep coming and then are lost without any more description. But it exemplifies the struggle the narrator is going through. The indecision is evident. The self-belief - or lack of it. I'm not sure i know what the 3rd stanza means but the images were very strong there and is the highlight of the poem. The rhythm was a little off in the second stanza but that's something a little tweaking could remedy. Enjoyable again.
ShatteredDreamer Comment by: ShatteredDreamer - 2006-12-28 02:49
Add to Readers
      
Third stanza:
Can't even say how graphic and clear it was.
JohnnySodoff Comment by: JohnnySodoff - 2006-11-18 11:35
Add to Readers
      
Yes, I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed that. I really love the fourth stanza (about Buddha, etc.) I thought that was brilliant.

I wanna ask what compelled you to write this.
ShatteredDreamer Comment by: ShatteredDreamer - 2006-11-18 03:54
Add to Readers
      
Amen to that
Comment by: - 2006-11-17 19:39
Add to Readers
      
i bet you say that to all the martyrs.

seriously, i love it. it's beautiful.
1

Sponsored Ads


By Phantasmagoria

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S