writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
Big Brother
Big Brother
United States

Words: 158
Access: Public
Comments: 6

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




When the Bugle Sounds

When the bugle sounds, the bugle sounds,
When the bugle sounds,
You go.
Old man coming to make the rounds;
When the bugle sounds,
You go.

The boys all line up one by one
The green suit man hands them each a gun.
Just another hapless son,
But when the bugle sounds,
You go.
Appealing to a deeper love,
Patriotism and God above.
Kill another weeping dove,
But when the bugle sounds,
You go.

When the bugle sounds, the bugle sounds,
When the bugle sounds,
You go.
Old man coming to make the rounds,
'Cause when the bugle sounds,
You go.

When the bugle sounds, the bugle sounds,
When the bugle sounds,
You go.
Old man puts you in the ground,
Never giving a single sound
And piling unholy dirt in a precious mound,
All to see vain glory crowned!
But when the bugle sounds, the bugle sounds,
(Never you slow!)
Yes, when the bugle sounds,
You go.

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
goodmoses Comment by: goodmoses - 2007-01-25 20:39
Add to Readers
      
Great message and rhythm. In stanza three, "'Cause" seems a bit out of place, and "because" might not work. I was thinking substituting it with "For", though it may alter the atmosphere. And the line "And piling unholy dirt in a precious mound" may be a tad out of beat. I suggest either removing "unholy" or "precious", or using shorter synonyms.

Quite an intruiging poem. I must honestly say that it is one of my favorite from all of those I have read on this site. I feel compelled to look into your other works. Thank you.
yowazup13 Comment by: yowazup13 - 2007-01-20 04:55
Add to Readers
      
Ok, seriously, that was kick ass. My kind of thing. Reminds of this song I wrote awhile back. The chorus was like this: "The angels are failing you, the angels are failing you now
Bless your bullets all you must, none will sanctify bloodlust
Their white wings are hailing down, their white wings are hailing down now
Write home if you desire to, but your memoryâ??s not fireproof" ...There's also this song i've uploaded, but its been hidden by the showing three uploads...its called "love, the boy at war," I think you'll enjoy it.
maggie m Comment by: maggie m - 2006-12-13 22:31
Add to Readers
      
Awsome! This does sound like a song.Great rhythm and rhyme! I love this!!
deathbyacid Comment by: deathbyacid - 2006-11-30 12:03
Add to Readers
      
yea the bugle will sound for us all some day...and im in no hurry ey...you have great talant
Jamilah Comment by: Jamilah - 2006-11-28 19:56
Add to Readers
      
I like the way you get the message across. And the rhythm works very well.

Have you thought of making this a song? I can almost hear it.
1 2 Next

Sponsored Ads


Added to Library of:

By Big Brother

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S