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Lydia Tong
United Kingdom, neverland

Words: 603
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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Marshmallow Land

I woke up this morning in my bed of white marshmallow. I looked up seeing a huge candy cane lit with a flame hung upon the ceiling. I opened up the window made of clear rock candy, felt and smelt the air. The air was cold with a mist of sweet mint. Shivering a little, I went over to my closet and took my white marshmallow jumper. Then, I crawled on the pink carpet of cotton candy, slowly, and quietly; I laid my ears onto the door of white chocolate.

Excited. "What surprise has he prepared for me today?" I wondered. I walked out of the room onto the elegant red cotton candy carpets of the hallway, lit by heart-shaped lollipops on the walls. I found a golden key with a card which says "go to room 710" on the floor. So, off I rode my white swan and flew across to the room with the golden door in the sky.

I fit in the golden key and opened the door, a strong scent of lavender oozed out. Beautiful, slow tunes filled the room by mountains of music boxes, all sizes from small to big. Slowly, I counted, and there were 710 of them. 710 music boxes, 710 pairs of different small couples were dancing, rotating. Was there a special meaning behind 710? I walked up the stairs and went across to the biggest music box made of glittering diamonds, inside was a glass couple dancing on a pool of white glitter candy powder. The couple was us! Dancing, rotating in wedding costumes made with silver syrup. I giggled and laughed, and he suddenly took my hand from behind.

We rode our swans and left room 710, the room with the golden door. We landed on a fudge farm with chocolate cows everywhere. We jumped and raced on the cows and I couldn't stop laughing and talking. Suddenly he stopped and put his index finger in front of his lips, 'shhhh', and then he pointed his finger towards an apple tree. I kept quiet and heard something crying. I walked towards the tree and found a new born baby cow the size of a tennis ball. I wrapped my white marshmallow jumper around it and returned it to his mother. After, we went onto the Ferris wheel of Bubbles and spoke of dreams. Then, we jumped out of the bubble, onto a rainbow slide and landed on the Ice Cream Hills. We skied on the ice cream grounds for a bit and went to a coffee shop made of cookies.

Before he disappeared, he always brought me to the gardens to play with the flowers. He kissed me goodbye and floated away. The flowers smiled at me, we blew bubblegum and gossiped about the trees. He would come back at night to take me hunt down stars which I collected in my strawberry jug. I went home and hung them upon the ceiling in my room. But I didn't feel like staying in my room this night.

Everything was light as feather. I looked behind my shoulders and saw wings grew behind my back. I flew out of my window and landed onto a pink, soft marshmallow cloud. Relaxed. I remembered my recurring nightmares.

They say people who believe in their dreams sleep forever.

I flew back into room 710, the room with the golden door. The harmonious tunes were still playing. I danced around alone with the couples until everything was silent again. I bowed to the crowd even though no one really saw me. Expanding my arms, I dreamed of my nightmare.

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Comments  
Koinonia Comment by: Koinonia - 2007-03-01 02:26
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Good grief, I need some water after all that sugar! You manage to portray the dream state very well. Love the line about the air being 'cold with a mist of sweet mint'. If I wrote this, I never would have thought of making the air into candy too.
love Comment by: love - 2007-02-04 14:26
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710 is my birthday :)
tzen909 Comment by: tzen909 - 2007-02-04 11:31
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An enjoyable read, I really enjoyed it. Everything in it was very, for lack of a better word, dreamish...was kinda curious about the meaning of the number 710, but other than that I liked it.
kylebstiff Comment by: kylebstiff - 2007-01-18 01:37
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Well told! Cool story about one of them psychological escape-hatches. I've jumped into those, too. Reminds me of children's commercials for cereal - saccharine sweet display of fantasy world with animated icons who love you all the time, and never ever punch you in the face!

"I walked towards the tree and found a new born baby cow the size of a tennis ball. I wrapped my white marshmallow jumper around it and returned it to his mother." This line is ridiculously cute, and I like the introduction of conflict and resolution all crammed into a few words - "and returned it to its mother" - as if the narrator is in such a padded cell reality that only the most sugarcoated of fantasies will do! Ha ha!

The end might need some kind of visceral sense attachment to it. What I mean is, the nightmare needs to have a little (just a LITTLE) describer. Like a smell, just a whiff of some reek. Or a high-pitched whine that follows it. Of course you don't want to give it away, it's best if others attach their own nightmare to that word "nightmare". But just a tiny, little something...

-Kyle B. Stiff
cozmikbrown Comment by: cozmikbrown - 2006-12-01 19:41
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playful, creative and dreamy :)
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