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misplacedmind
Steven Hand
United Kingdom, southlanarkshire, carluke

Words: 116
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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The saddest place for fun

I cry tears of sadness
Tears of pain
I hide from the madness
The man Ive became
The violence it rains
My reactions are trained
My detachment from the world
I cant explain
Im contemplating
Waiting on a greater day to come
But every time I receive one
Im overcome
I run
I cant even handle the sun
Im in the darkness
The saddest place for fun
Im flaking out
Scraping
Raking for rum
Im glum
My blackened lungs stung
Infectious with fungi
I used to be the fun guy
Now hes hidden beneath what underlies
He cant touch the skies
His crying eyes are tired
His fire burnt out
Expired
Retired
Dont possess whats required

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Comments  
Sasha Mathis Comment by: Sasha Mathis - 2007-03-21 16:07
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The man Ive became - this should either be "the man I've become" or "the man I became"

I think you should add the needed punctuation to make this easier to read. I liked what you were saying though.

Sasha
zodiacave Comment by: zodiacave - 2006-11-29 09:46
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So dark, you highlight frustration beautifully. Excellent piece.
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By misplacedmind

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