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Comment by: Afrka - 2008-06-19 16:46
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| Very thought provoking. Thanks for sharing. Keep up the great work! |
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| I like the way you demonstrate the possibilities for simplicity. The variety of language here sends the reader off in many directions. :-) |
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| Good rhythm and I like the tone each word evokes as it is spoken. Is the last word a typo or is that intentional? |
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Comment by: precar - 2007-11-19 16:55
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Very cool, haven't read something like this in a while. The rhythm is excellent. My favorite lines:
Gaze
Full beam.
Heart
Full steam
Ahead.
Indicator on.
Vocabulary
Gone. |
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| I often feel that my vocabulary is completely insufficient. This feeling comes about most when I'm trying to write poetry. Sometimes finding the right words to fit a certain emotion is trying. I think you accurately described the frustration that comes along with attempting to seek out the right words. Brava. |
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