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Beck
Dan Beck
Online
United Kingdom, London

Words: 81
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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The Bear With The Seabirds In Tow

The bear with the seabirds in tow
swipes a giant claw through
the stream's icy winter coat.

A salmon bright red but
pink beneath the ripples,
breaks the surface,
as strings of water spill desperate
to return to the safety of mass.

Wriggling in the bear's unyielding grip
the salmon desires the same
but instead suffers the taunts
of the final few drips.

Squawking in anticipation
the birds circle lower than before
singing their chorus
like ranks of men at war.

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Comments  
Juan2 Comment by: Juan2 - 2007-02-25 19:26
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A vibrant poem! The last stanza was my favorite, but only because it tied everything together. There many images in the poem, and I feel like each is concrete but open for interpretation, which is great. My take: poem acts as a metaphor for someone (salmon) trying to attain a dream/break from the masses (water), but is stopped in its tracks by harsh resistance (bear) and left in a state of indignity (birds). I could be way off, but at least this one got me thinking and the language you use is a pleasure to read, so thanks for that.

Happy Writings.
teejay Comment by: teejay - 2007-01-22 10:27
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Wonderful. Your descriptions were very good and it was effortless to read.
ShatteredDreamer Comment by: ShatteredDreamer - 2007-01-05 11:42
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Very visual and alive, you made nature seem both brutal and peaceful at the same time.
goodmoses Comment by: goodmoses - 2006-12-01 19:17
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I like how you personified the water. And the birds... vultures?
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