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adarkvision
Erik Duarte
United States, IL, Chicago

Words: 115
Access: Public
Comments: 13

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"Deliverance"

An old blind man stood outside in the black of night.

He felt the tears of the world weigh down on him like a kamikaze storm of solitude.

He closes his pale eyes to an empty sky of nothingness.

He listens through a crowd of blank faces and voices.

A boy cries to his mother.

A woman laughs at the remark of another.

A dog sits and stares.

As though, a blessing from a vacant god above.

Fate lures him closer to the current of oncoming traffic.

Like a piece of bait beckoning the demise of a curious koi.

He takes a step into a river of beaming headlights and screaming acceleration.

[Scene.]



© Erik Duarte 2006

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Comments  
corrina Comment by: corrina - 2008-10-30 14:09
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So I have to ask...how does the man listen to a dog sit and stare? heh....maybe I just read it out of context. When he closes his eyes to a sky of nothingness, isn't his blindness the catalist to nothingness?
timeakinga Comment by: timeakinga - 2006-12-19 23:55
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Great description of an old man's solitude. Nice imagery, the 2nd line is also my favorite, but I also enjoyed the part you write about the others who surround him. Good work
Nana Comment by: Nana - 2006-12-13 07:21
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Absolutely beautiful. Loved how you described everything so perfectly and created an almost live image in the reader's mind.
"...like a kamikaze storm of solitude.." My favorite line.
Thanks for another great read! ;)
deathbyacid Comment by: deathbyacid - 2006-12-10 12:13
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poof...well to bad ey...sorry the old man was feeling a tid bit on the lonly side...well guess it was his time than ey
Jewels Comment by: Jewels Online- 2006-12-09 11:56
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I love the imagery, the words paint not a landscape and a soundscape for the reader. The last line is my favourite, intriguing too.
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