Cabbage, Lava and Tequila

'Twas the night before Christmas, way far out in space
No creature was stirring, not even Joe's carapace.
The screens were all silent shut down and clear
In hopes that no spacers would suddenly appear.

Our crew were all nestled secure in their cots
With visions of high balls in very big pots
And skipper in long johns, and I in my 'jams
Were dreaming of turkeys and Prosciutto hams

When, from down where the black gang usually labour,
Came smells and aromas promising marvellous flavour,
I spun from our bed, my mouth drooling wildly
And ran down the halls, looking not mildly

In a space ship, you see, there's no fallen snow
There's only outside, and that's not below
No Santas, no sleighs, no tiny reindeer
Can to one's eyes from nowhere appear.

The smells they grew stronger, and I did so rush
To share in my dreams something so plush
Down, and down further, the space ship I went
To trace the aromas I really was bent.

And there in the hold, so far from main deck,
Sat Cabbage and Cheddar both held in no check.
And somewhere between them, proud as you please,
Tequila sat fondling some smelly blue cheese.

I roared a strong greeting , and fast as I could
I stuffed my mouth full of the glorious food.
In seconds the cabbage, which was really a roll
Was gone down safely like I was a black hole.

The Cheese followed quickly, that fast I ate
In case someone came to spoil the date.
And then came the glass, worm out on display,
Tequila went smoothly much the same way.

And then, stuffed with fodder, sloshy and curt
I wondered why I could give such a big burp.
Out came a second, almost as big
Telling me I'd been such a pig.

The earthquakes they happened, down in the gut
And lava came pushing up where it hurt
And lava went down toward the other place,
Not something nice when you're in space.

So, think, my dear people, you poor human race,
Accidents happen, especially in space
Eating too much is such a bore,
And cleaning's a terrible god-awful chore.

Remember this Christmas, when you're by your tree
What happened to poor little old little me
Let cabbage rolls only enough to suffice
Don't follow it fast with tequila on ice

Or lava you'll find is right there as well,
Making you go through your personal hell.
Instead, take it all easy and then you can cite:
'Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

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