 |
 |
 |
| |
forgotten dreams and deja vu
there are three poems here, the first is my final of forgotten dreams, and the second is the first draft of it... the third poem is deja vu... enjoy
........................................................
..............................................
(final? draft)
When I woke I couldn't remember
Anything of what I dreamed
I think about this over and over
Yet my mind slowly intervenes
Crazy numeric
Running through my head
Never to be thoughts
Just lies in the lot
There crazy
All the numbers
There crazy
All the dreams
They've took my mind
Made it their own
They turned me blind
Now they call me home
I try to FIGHT
Yet to only fire and miss
They've stolen my mind
And left me with this
Over and over in my mind
Forgetting truths
Building the lies
Life is merely forgotten time
.......................................................
(original)
forgotten dreams...
when i woke i couldn't remember
anything of what i dreamed
i think about this over and over
yet my mind slowly intervenes
crazy numerics
running through my head
never to be thoughts
just dancing lies
there crazy
the dreams
there crazy
the numbers
they've took my mind
made it there own
they left me blind
now they call me home
i try to fight
yet to only fire and miss
they've stolen my mind
and left me with this
over and over in my mind
forgetting truths
building the lies
life is merely forgotten time
.....................................................
deja vu...
is life on random?
or is it just,
déjà vu?
seems to me,
everything,
is going in circles.
how bout you?
sitting here thinking,
i've done it all before.
wasting away,
like a dirty shore.
concrete flowers,
to never bloom.
just waiting on the tide,
wash the hard away.
that's all flowers need,
just washed clean.
the world is spinning,
déjà vu.
waiting on what?
you?
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
i really needed that last one right now, and have no idea why :)
liked the other ones to, they made me remeber something... |
|
|
i really like the deja vu poem (though i think you should drop the 'how bout you'line - came across as slightly corny).
the first line is superb: 'is life on random?' - this is the kind of abstract philosophical question i like to include in my poems.
great user name, too. death by acid, indeed. |
|
|
| I like deja vu. I like the image of "Wasting away like a dirty shore." Also "concrete flowers to never bloom." These are powerful images, I enjoyed this piece.Great write. |
|
|
| I like the repetition in this...it really conveys a sense of confusion or bewilderment |
|
|
| the world awaits for only destruction.and then the slumber of reality stops and then it trully becomes nothing but chaos and true reality ,when you awake remember these lines,for all of this is not fake but only running out of time. |
| 1 2 Next |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
