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| I wondered if this line: "It's a imitator" is supposed to be this way. Correctly is should say: "It's an imitator" Everything else, I think, read great. I wish I could say more than that. I liked you're image, and the poem actually seemed to have a point. |
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Phew! Fast paced and steely. Loved it! Particularly like the way lines tripped and flowed; "Sheet of white hot
Shite hot
Pain stopped cool calm hands soothing her hellish fever"
And your imagery; "Wringed it out
Neck downward"
Look forward to more of your dark words...
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Comment by: RoadPoet Online- 2007-02-24 13:03
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A really original piece. I have not come across a piece that deals with exorcism and I am not at all surprised that you have written it Danielle. I love the imagery and brute physiology that comes into play. You describe the jerks and spasms in graphic detail in an almost sequential manner. The repetition of 'In the name of Jesus Christ LEAVE' is an effective stanza breaker and allows the reader to attain some respite before reading the ensuing lines at considerable force.
A different piece that is very clever and felt by the reader. |
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hey,
I liked the format of this poem. It just sort of fell down the page. I thought it was very expressive and effective towards your theme to format the piece this way. Great rhythm.
thanks for shring this,
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Comment by: ripleym Online- 2006-12-24 06:44
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Great piece of poetry and a theme I don't think I have read before in a poem.
Couple of gotchas, I'm sure you could pick them up yourself if you read back through ;-)
Mostly, the mixed punctuation. At first no punctuation annoyed me, but then I found it actually helping the poem to flow, so much so that when I stumbled across a comma, I really stumbled.
A couple of spelling mistakes but I really liked this. |
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