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amnesia sufferer
what lie did you sell you dream for
back of the queue soul that you are?
i saw you marinated in the false promise of escape
submitting to the casual rape anonymity provides
it ripped at your insides and made you numb
you spoke to other people that were dumb
will you recognise the saviours when they come?
or are you forever going to beat the silent drum
that sounds within a retard chest? a dying breast?
i turn away into the storm and burn in rain
i want to kiss the fiery face of formless pain
and you and i are merely memories again
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Comment by: Teri - 2007-02-27 16:25
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you dream - your dream
you spoke to other people that were dumb - who were dumb
Very poignant, but since you asked me read and let you know which ones I like best, I'll be honest and say it's not your strongest work. It's very good, don't get me wrong. Just, in my opinion, not your strongest piece.
T. xo |
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| i agree with kim barclay, you had me at "what lie did you sell your dream for?" i can relate to this poem personally, i think a lot of people can, especially writers, and other deep thinking individuals. i especially relate to, "submitting to the casual rape anonymity provides, it ripped at your insides and made you numb..." i spent a few years of my life living like that. thinking that if i drown myself in drugs and liquor and developed a newer and tougher persona i would achieve greatness. i think those of us who come back from the dark side will always have a sensitivity to those who do not. |
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Comment by: Anne - 2007-02-23 04:52
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strong emotions in this poem.
Love this line "I want to kiss the fiery face of formless pain"
Nice work |
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you really write with strong visual and emotional images. there seems to be an anger in this poem that lashes out, but does so with feeling.
bookshelfing this bad boy! ;o) |
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| ahh, the first two lines set the tone for a great poem. Thank you |
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