writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
John Glennon
John Glennon
United Kingdom, the north

Words: 132
Access: Public
Comments: 3

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Bismark, Dakota

Running on flat tyres,
late
a metaphor on

four wheels.
a slow puncture a slow hour a slow century
moving,)

The steamed up glass
And the buildings that we pass,
Are stationary,

Like brick mausoleums,
catacombs where
We live

in smokestacks where,
death mask images appear on
dry rot wallpaper

Asbestos interiors
the roof of your life
Leaks

Drip by drip,
a steady constant
drips

And we raise our skinny arms to the
sky like
antennas.

Waiting to be taken away.

( I want to be on her wavelength. )

But we are dis tuned, a
Crackling white noise
A backdrop of static

Stuck in a terminal
Watching
planes angle themselves to the sky

Above the soil, below the clouds,
somewhere in between
they fly along invisible lines

Plotted on machines in Bismark, Dakota

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
Teri Comment by: Teri - 2007-01-02 09:35
Add to Readers
      
(It's Bismarck, North Dakota.)

Very unusual poem full of interesting and rather well-written imagery. I couldn't figure out why you have a close parantheses in the 2nd stanza. I got the impression the last part is about how the routes to our destinations are planned somewhere else (God? A Supreme Being?) and not by us. Nice metaphor, although I'm probably misunderstanding it. :)

Thanks for the read.

Teri
John Glennon Comment by: John Glennon - 2007-01-02 08:48
Add to Readers
      
thanks for the feedback, I'm pretty new around here so it's good to get people reading my stuff and offering comment. Thanks
frani Comment by: frani - 2007-01-02 04:27
Add to Readers
      
The imagery in this poem really adds to the atmosphere. Your descriptions are spot-on. Maybe take out the ( ) for a smoother read.
1

Sponsored Ads


By John Glennon

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S