I conceived you in my mind
Before my womb knew your presence
Childhood fantasies, wrapped in pink
Motherhood,
Backlit by the softest light
Until that night
You entered the world
In a gush of blood and pain
Moved by something primal
As ancient as the moon
And my life turned upside down
My heart belonged to you

But even amidst the miracle
I grieved for the lost dream
For that child I conceived long ago
In my mind and heart
For you refused to conform
To that peaceful, gentle vision
You were your own, from your first breath on
And only mine when I accepted
Your own unique beauty
And clasped reality to me
Your tiny mouth greedy at my breast
Your soft hand caressing my face
Your innocent eyes riveted to mine
And I feel something fierce tug at my heart
Not gentle or soft like I dreamed

Now I watch you and I am learning
About myself and about you
Your unadulterated joy at being
Keeps my soul singing
And makes me learn to embrace the present
And the spontaneity of life
You are more than I had hoped for
My beautiful daughter

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