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sunshine
Emma Quinn
United States

Words: 105
Access: Public
Comments: 11

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Salvation


She's walking down


a deserted road,


long since forgotten


by anyone who'd care


about a sad and damaged girl


with a suitcase in her hand


And the devil on her heels


wearing the angel's halo.


The sun brands her


as she walks on,


with tired feet


and a tired mind


to a future no better


than the one she'd left,


and a horizon as promising


as a room full of straw


and a night to turn it to gold.


A prison cell pursues her


disguised as a relative


but they won't see her


when they pass,


because lost souls


look just like us.


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Comments  
Harris3dgn Comment by: Harris3dgn - 2007-08-03 11:06
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I enjoyed the poem. The metaphors and images you use are bordering on cliche, but don't read like it. That's an accomplishment right there.

Curious about the structure though? It makes it easier to read being double spaced. It flows ok, I'm just curious why you chose that particular format over stanzas.
Ash19640 Comment by: Ash19640 - 2007-06-20 19:49
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'lost souls look just like us' > aah, that's so good; Emma just noticing your setting out of this piece - is it meant to be a 'shape' poem ( has she walked into & out of a symbolic valley perhaps? ) Great write: Ash
Comment by: - 2007-02-27 16:11
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with a suitcase in her hand
And the devil on her heels
wearing the angel's halo.

Loved this line. And the thing about turning straw into gold.

I think you lost me a bit near the ending. A prison cell disguised as a relative?
simowierdo Comment by: simowierdo - 2007-02-27 11:17
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this kinda sent chills down my spine for some reason : ) you got that...slient, painful imagery going on in this poem. nice work!
sunshine Comment by: sunshine - 2007-02-25 13:10
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Hahaha rexoj, a) that sounds freaky and b) I'm glad I was of help, my mission in life is complete.
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