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My Best Shirt
What annoyed me the most was that it was my best shirt. I found it during my unforgettable trip to San Francisco. Lillian picked it out enthusiastically, as she tossed it over the dressing room door. I thought I wouldn't be caught dead wearing it, but Lillian was so adorable. As I pulled my t-shirt over my head I heard the squeak of hinges. There I stood bare chested exposed to her almond eyes. Normally, I would have felt shy having my love handles exposed to such a beauty. The only thing I cared about was running my hands through her short curly black hair. She kissed me, steaming up my glasses, as she buttoned the shirt. There were many fights since. When I last spoke to her the scent of cologne, not my own, tainted my memory. Now, all I could do was watch her leaving, her arm draped around his waist as he wore my best shirt.
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Comment by: sarra - 2007-10-31 19:40
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| Oh wow! This definitely held me throughout. I was wondering what exactly was going to be happening and I must say I was not expecting the ending. It made my jaw drop and I had to go back and reread it to see if maybe I missed something subtle which hinted at the end. Well done! The ending was an unexpected home run. |
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Comment by: zepol - 2007-04-24 19:40
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| It is a good read and I agree with jack there was an interesting plunge at the end. I wish you had added a bit more; however, tt is concise and quite enjoyable. |
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Comment by: Valerie - 2007-04-14 22:20
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| I am just passing through, and not really a short-story critique person, but I really liked this - made me feel sorry for the protagonist, and hating Lillian. A very enjoyable read. It could almost be poetry. The irony is especially memorable. |
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Lillian, the serial shirt giver! I wonder what she told the new guy to get him to put the shirt on. What would make this come full circle in the beginning was if the narrator didn't know where the shirt came from. Say, Lillian told him she'd purchased it at a thrift store when she gave it to him.
This sentence stands out as, I don't know, a little glib? But that's not exactly the right word. You'll want to watch out for the temptation to summarize: There were many fights since, which cut upon the edges of my soul. |
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Comment by: - 2007-02-07 06:27
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| Dude, that's amazing! In a few sentences you tell a whole story with a truly depressing but powerful ending! |
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