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halpert
Lynn von Grimm
United States, RI

Words: 87
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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the Blood song

Blood hits the lips,
& spills & chills
over broken hearts & bones.
Porcelain isn't white enough,
but delicate enough to shatter;
pale skin.
Blistering all over,
your crimson hands,
your dark soft touch.
You're not who I thought you were;
my imagination.

Sleep, sleep deep.
It's never deep enough.
Inside the walls the silence is too dead.
Fluttering lashes hold the key,
to dreams of you & me.
But who are you?
Don't leave.

Please, don't leave.
Hold me close...
if only for a memory.

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Comments  
danieldarwell Comment by: danieldarwell - 2007-03-04 09:10
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I really like the lines "Porcelain isn't white enough, / but delicate enough to shatter". I also like the addition of "if only for a memory" as the last line - it changes what might have been an overly generic "don't leave me because I love you" sentiment into something subtler and far more interesting. Well done:)

-D
pyromaniac Comment by: pyromaniac - 2007-01-24 22:26
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that is really good. it is very descriptive and i enjoyed reading it. keep up the great work and have fun.
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By halpert

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