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Stilletoes and Olives - Yvy's Challenge answer
His manuscript was a mess.
Not only was the wording itself sporadic and incomplete, but the added candle wax spilled by his frenzied and nymphomaniac latest ex-girlfriend didn't help matters either.
First she'd screwed his brains out, then told him she saw him with another woman, gave him a hell of a clout on the head with a red stilleto shoe, and slammed the door in his face. Consequently he was writing a story about breakups to send to a journal, called Editred, so this fit perfectly!
He wrote his imagined revenge into his story; although he got stuck when he tried to describe how the light glinted off her silver hoop earrings as she jumped gracefully from a bridge.
Frustrated, he used her shoe to stab olives out of a jar wile he watched re-runs of Gilligans Island on late night T.V.
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| I enjoyed the imagery the most here. You paint some pictures that are fun to imagine and the flow makes this easy to do. |
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I understand the mad-woman candle wax/shoe thing, but I didn't understand the jumping off the bridge (killing herself) to get back at him. Guilt I suppose. I would think she would do something to him--anyway, this is certainly imaginative and unique. I like your style with what I've read thus far. Again, this is a fun read.
-Jeff |
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Comment by: digs - 2007-04-20 09:29
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| Great. I really liked it. The five elements (paras) combine beautifully to produce a whole that is a lot more than the sum of the parts. With the greatest respect to Laura, none of those points occurred to me. Loved the surprising turns this takes. You have a great knack for that. |
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Comment by: jakrebs Online- 2007-02-14 16:11
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| You are one-of-a-kind weird; I love it. |
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The last line:
"Frustrated, he used her shoe to stab olives out of a jar wile he watched re-runs of Gilligans Island on late night T.V."
Is priceless. But I agree with most of what Laura Banks typed, below me...
overall, well done.
*
Poetically Always Ashley |
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