 |
 |
 |
| |
Kiss My Ass
kiss my ass
as I sit here and type myself away
remove my heart and post it for sale on E-Bay, and write my ass into some creative statement
careless of my improper ways
my warped views, the intricate labyrinth I venture through...the corner I have painted myself into...
the hole in the skull where poetic waste lingers seeping deeper and deeper
that's what I decided to write about today
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
| i feel like that alot going day by day but you put it to paper perfectly |
 |
Comment by: Apollo - 2008-01-06 21:44
|
|
| The title made me read this... I feel you... everyone can kiss my ass too while they are at it!! Sometimes you just gotta write out shit like this... you made me smile. |
 |
Comment by: Nod - 2007-12-29 22:59
|
|
| This will probably piss you off since most of your men critics bow to your beauty, but with a little help (probably mine), I could improve your sentence structure & punctuation, thereby making your writing a little more readable, but, I do like your style. Message me if you so desire, I would like to hear your comments. |
|
|
| i really enjoyed the rhythm you used to express yourself. as opposed to rhyme (which sometimes can seem very forced) you let it flow in this one, and i feel it was much more effective in conveying your emotions than a couple of your other poems. not to say that rhyme isn't the way to go- just that if you ARE going to rhyme, be careful so that it doesn't sound like you're using the online rhyming dictionary. ;) |
|
|
| i think you may feel that you could remix this and extend this and go farther down the rabbit hole if you have another day like that day it will come out if it hasn't already..................... |
| 1 2 3 4 Next |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
