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Half To Death
A look of insanity bled across her face,
for I took the only sanity she had left.
This was the night that I looked at my mother,
the night I scared her half to death.
I destroyed all of the emotion,
that she showed me from within.
As the look she gave me burned my soul,
She stated she would never trust me again.
Her terrified eyes and shivering hands,
detatched her her heart from mine.
"I'm sorry", were the only words I spoke,
But deep within, she thought I was lying.
I scared her, hurt her, and terrified her,
all within the same night.
But at the time, what she knew I thought,
Was that what I did was right.
It was cold, and lonley,
although she was right there by my side.
I just couldnt say I was wrong,
i just wouldn't hurt my pride.
I looked at my mother and she looked at me,
We said nothing,
because nothing was left.
All in the night I destroyed her,
The night I scared my mother half to death.
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| Makes me real nosy to what you did. Thumbs up! |
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| I can feel ur emotions girl, it is clearly expressed, and that's what makes a great poet. |
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Comment by: - 2007-02-08 09:48
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| yeah, this definitely had me wondering what it was that you did. i think we've all been in a similar situation, and you describe it incredibly well. nice work! |
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Comment by: Midden - 2007-02-07 23:27
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The sharp punches of each few lines is excellent, really brings me to mind of the time when I scared my own mother half to death. This was my favourite part:
"It was cold, and lonley,
although she was right there by my side.
I just couldnt say I was wrong,
i just wouldn't hurt my pride."
Though, personally I would have changed the last line to
"I just couldn't hurt my pride."
No real reason other than it sounds better to me. Heh, when I read it first, that's the way I read it! Other than that, brilliant stuff, thanks! |
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| Wow... I loved this one, though it did get me wondering what you did to scare your mother so! As colindardis said, the meter is a bit off, but if read slowly and carefully it sounds almost like you meant it to be that way, so no biggie. Thanks for the read! -Sarah |
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