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Rae
Tawny Christine
United States, South Carolina

Words: 123
Access: Public
Comments: 25

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A Change in Seasons

In the cool air of the day,
My kisses lay imprinted
Upon eyelids of sweetness.

Hiding eyes of deep chestnut,
They froze-
Irises wide, displaying a brilliance of
Spectrum;
One color, so many variations
And highlights of delicate gold.

They matched the trees,
Trunks twisted from time.
They matched the leaves of
Brown, red, orange, and yellow
A color wheel rested in this sight.

To leave,
They show hesitance,
Worry,
Disbelief.

A mere memory
Of what used to be-
To keep,
As a journey
Through brown to black is
Tackled.

They send out messages
So soft,
Like the sweet melodies of the wind.
They make me all the more hesitant-
To change,
To abandon, to forsake,
To forget,
So...

I remember the Fall.

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Comments  
greensleaves Comment by: greensleaves - 2008-04-05 10:57
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I think this is great. It's very enticing, endearing, it's a demanding poem, I think that is a good thing. I think a little semantic manipulation and finetuning would make this really awesome.
Aria Comment by: Aria - 2008-02-07 12:33
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this is lovely poem. Good use of imagery and references to Autumn/Fall. And the fact that yu are speakin gof someones eyes/window to th soul/ through out the rest of the poem is very sweet. It reminded me of two lovers needing topart ways of course, but also that one of the seasons had to leave but 'remember the Fall." Overall sweet poem and a little heartbreaking that these two beings have to part :(
Thunderpen Comment by: Thunderpen - 2007-09-04 09:41
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Curious, do you mean the Fall as into decadence like gravity, or the Fall like autumn? Or do you mean to leave the poetic ambiguity?
I like your colors.
I like your attention to the forest.
Comment by: - 2007-07-17 19:20
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This was great! I really liked the line:

They matched the leaves of
Brown, red, orange, and yellow
A color wheel rested in this sight.

Most for the reference towards the color wheel. You had some interesting images and the ending did a great job emphasizing Fall.
Aria Comment by: Aria - 2007-07-17 11:19
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imagery is elegant, just like the season you speak of. :) I love how you describe autumn and how the season actually felt worry and disbelief from the on coming winter. great work
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