writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
EatThoseStars
christopher spencer
United States, nc, charlotte

Words: 882
Access: Public
Comments: 5

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Coffee House Beatings

I was sitting outside of my local coffee shop when, hand in hand, two
people walked past me and headed inside to enjoy tall cups of what the
world has now considered coffee. They entered smiling and giggling,
laughing at whatever they found amusing at the time when only minutes
later my ritualistic Sunday morning observance of passersby became a
sidewalk performance that took me by surprise. The once blissful
couple that strolled inside a moment ago had now transformed into a
squabbling duo that were not afraid to express themselves in front of
me and the few that sat around me. By the way they stormed outside
with voices raised I was under the impression they must have had some
really bad service or the biscotti's were dated. The couple traded
obscenities and juggled names of acquaintances back and forth, almost
as if to disguise the blame they were placing on each other. It was
near impossible to ignore the rising volume of their conversation so I
paid attention to each and every word. The intensity of their dispute
was escalating and I had a strong sensation that they could have cared
less I was taking notes.

He told her he was tired of it. He didn't want anything to
do with her or any of their new friends. He said it was all her idea,
and a very bad one at that. She screamed with a fear of him being
right, unintentionally informing me and everyone around us she only
did it because it was something she felt he wanted, something that all
men fantasize about. Her terrified facial expressions spoke of a
matter very personal and I could only dream of what that something
was. His inner knowledge of her intentions led him to reject her empty
admissions of guilt. She had an urge to make him feel better for the
time being and silence the scene they created. He interrupted by
telling her he lost all faith in her and could no longer trust her
around his friends or anyone for that matter. She wanted him to
understand that it was a drunken thing, a one-time incident with
someone named Cassidy that would never happen again. I guessed
infidelity was the topic at hand but for their sake I wanted to be
wrong. She wanted some time to calm down and explain the situation to
him fully. He wanted her to go to hell.

She was shattered, still with fear and begging for forgiveness. He
collected change from his pocket, threw it in her direction, and told
her to catch the bus back to her place. Our surroundings were silent
and I could hear the dimes and nickels hit her bare arms then bounce
from her shoes to the concrete. "We're done" were the last words
spoken before he turned and left her with her mistake. She didn't call
his name or chase after him with repeated apologies. She just stood
with shaking hands. She lost something important and it hurt even more
when she knew she had an option to remain faithful. Faith is more than
just believing. Faith is giving up the reigns of power with no
worries. Her faith in him was never-ending. His is now non-existent.



An untainted togetherness is and has always been far-fetched but that
doesn't mean anyone should go out of their way to screw things up.
Problems occur and solutions arise with the help of both partners.
Humans are, by nature, not monogamous, which might explain but still
never excuse infidelity. Inviting another into a relationship solely
for physical reasons is appealing to some yet risky to all. You can't
guarantee your reactions to a situation you have no control over, and
jealousy is always around in a condition such as this. It could have
you wondering why, for one night, that other person was put on your
pedestal. As great as sex is, it seems to be the driving force for all
things wrong. If dating someone who never had a problem with the act
of sleeping around, would each other's expectation of the relationship
be the same? Could you be loved the same?

She turned and faced me. I think through all of the commotion she
forgot she was outside and was surprised by my presence. We looked at
each other for what seemed like days. Her eyes told me her error in
judgment made her lose something wonderful. Her face was flushed from
fear and her hands hadn't ceased trembling. I was scared for her and
wanted to say something soothing but it wasn't my place to say a word.
I've had friends break up before but I've never witnessed the process
up close. It was nearing 9 a.m. and her evening plans had already
changed. I never knew their names and never saw them again but
watching two strangers go from an emotional pinnacle to complete
disaster and then head their separate ways was startling. Our gaze was
broken when she looked down and saw she was still encircled by his
coins. She was paralyzed by failure; her attempt at opening their
relationship resulted in a very crucial loss. She collected the change
and made her way across the empty street without a hand to hold.

Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
Anita Comment by: Anita - 2007-03-30 21:47
Add to Readers
      
This was a very moving piece,Christopher. I was drawn in by your telling of what you witnessed and could actually visualize it in my mind's eye clearly because of your excellent use of description.
GOpencyprep Comment by: GOpencyprep - 2007-02-08 20:09
Add to Readers
      
yes, coffee house literature - loved it
JenniferWrites Comment by: JenniferWrites - 2007-02-08 16:28
Add to Readers
      
Cheers Chris- Lots of interesting things happen at coffee shops dont they.Break ups , make ups, friends, foes, bad espresso.. lol the last one is the worst.
subtropic Comment by: subtropic - 2007-02-08 15:29
Add to Readers
      
You're a very good observer - a fly on the wall. The parts of the story that you assumed from the conversation and reactions was very believable. Some of the first paragraph reads a little awkwardly, you may want to try reading it aloud. For example, when you say "by the way" my brain automatically thinks of the expression (as in 'oh, by the way, your pants are on fire') so you might want to use "from" instead of "by." Minor details, though.
Comment by: - 2007-02-08 10:29
Add to Readers
      
This is a very starkly written piece with a good basis in reality. The lack of knowing them seems to make the whole thing worse, as if you're missing something within the tragedy. Well done!
1

Sponsored Ads


Added to Library of:

By EatThoseStars

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S