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Blink
When I open my eyes I've got skinny fingers
I've got a few friends
I've got a disease
I've got an open mind, notebooks full of disagreements, and a past I'm not proud of
I've got a desire for a certain someone
I've got scars from many wrong decisions and a notion that I really don't know much but most of what I know people don't understand
When I open my eyes I am 28 years of ups and downs
But as I close my eyes
I prepare for change
When I close my eyes, I've got wings
I've got hands that can crush a Sunday morning skyline and allow the dreamers to slip through my fingers
I've got her lips now chasing mine
I've got flawless thoughts and a legion of powerful poets all in agreement that wherever I stood I still managed to stand
When I close my eyes my words inspire a revolution for those children punished for daydreaming
but now it's time to open my eyes
and as I do
I see that I've got a lot to teach
and even more to learn
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| Its got this sort of vibe to it, really nice, well done. |
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| Very good. It had a great feeling to it. =)) |
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Comment by: Dante - 2007-08-05 20:33
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I really like the idea of this piece and can really appreciate your style. My only criticism is that I feel that the sixth line is two long and could be broken up into two lines - "I've got scars from many wrong decisions
I've got a notion that I really don't know much but most of what I know people don't understand". I don't know, just an idea. |
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Comment by: spilth - 2007-05-21 10:35
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| i love it....you speak for some many kids i've worked with...and I pray for them, what you now have and give....thank you for feeding my dream....that one person does make a difference....we've officially connected in this wirey fashion....i'm not lacking in love, read some lines, read my bluff, or simply unwind... |
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Comment by: mitra - 2007-03-08 01:59
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| Great work. Vulnerable has a way of being strong. It shows. |
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