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It's just the way that she speaks sometimes. The manner in
which she defines herself is flawed by having limited
outlooks but slyly maintains an unblemished disposition. She
sketched her disagreements and wants with crystallized
hands. City rooftops gave countless opportunities for her to
shout her claims of truth and frame-by-frame faults in her
beliefs. Beliefs that once gave the impression of a positive
social distillation or an emotionally bulletproof skin are
no longer upon the tip of her tongue but reside amongst each
other inside notebooks that keep time within their pages.
These journals speak of so much I never thought I wanted to
know about her. She feels like me and she knows how to be
torn down. She knows the conclusion of romance. Written
responses to unknown questions serve slices of an even more
delectable mystery. She thought of whom I've never seen and
even described the errors and dangers of a stranger. It's
just the way that she speaks sometimes. Years ago, she spoke
in silence and tonight I listened intently.
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Your word choice is intriguing and lends itself to the sensibilities of a photography or lover of cinema.
"City rooftops gave countless opportunities for her to
shout her claims of truth and frame-by-frame faults in her
beliefs."
Very nimble and urban in landscape. This is made for reading against the brick wall of some club where folks smoke too much. I'll be checkin' for you in the future.
your writing just has such strong voice. you write so eloquently, but with this really strong rhythm, like there's a beat in the back of your brain all of the time and these incredibly visual words just hop onto it and flow right onto the page.
nicely done.
I liked this. The first part isn't as strong as the rest because the images are complex and the wording a little confusing. 'The manner in
which she defines herself is flawed by having limited outlooks but slyly maintains an unblemished disposition' - I think it should be 'but SHE slyly.'
Crystalized hands: not sure what this means, but it's a cool image.
Emotionally bulletproof - I think you can drop 'emotionally' since it's pretty clear you're not talking about superheroes
She feels like me and she knows how to be torn down. - Awesome line, and the heart of the whole piece, I think.
She thought of whom I've never seen. - don't get this... how does it fit in with the relationship between the two.
Love the repetition of the first line near the end.
