In the hunger of a post-apocalyptic future will the members of an elite Obesity Anonymous support group survive canibalistic extermination?


(Author's Note: This speculative fiction story was originally published on Alien Skin Magazine in December 2006.)

The sniper had a perfect angle from the roof over a blasted out McDonalds. In contrast, Girth's fellow group member, Spread, had only the charred skeleton of an ice cream truck for cover. Girth watched another round puncture the old freezer section while Spread quivered behind the engine block.

He never had liked Spread from the first time that Girth laid eyes on him at one of the Obesity Anonymous meetings. Spread had been forced to attend by rich parents who threatened to derail his gravy train. All four hundred pounds of Spread's five feet eight inches had lumbered in that night underneath his moonish head. Despite Spread's obnoxious behavior his parents easily bought his membership into the elite support group. In return, the group granted him his special moniker.

Now, at two hundred fifty pounds'ten years after the Great Famine of 2031'Spread was certainly leaner, though he somehow managed to maintain a layer of dun doughy skin not too much unlike half-baked bread. A genetically altered insect had put Spread and the rest of the world on a starvation diet instead of providing pest protection for organic crops. The pest hunter had mutated into something that devoured anything edible. Then rioting and hoarding continued to make food scarce long after the genie bug killed itself off. Now the city of brotherly love was almost a graveyard with its namesake cheese steak sandwich nothing more than a cruel mockery from the past.

So it wasn't for Spread's sake that Girth gave the order to take out the skinny. A skinny with a rifle was extremely rare and far too dangerous to ignore, especially if it was one of Glut's skinnies.

Girth signaled the rest of his crew and then fished around inside his ammo pouch'a long strapped purse he had gleaned from a ransacked Wal-Mart. He eventually found the one shotgun shell he'd been saving for almost three years. The skinny suddenly increased his rate of fire, covering the racking noise from the sawed down shotgun. All the while Enorm, Wide, Pleasantly and the twins got into position. Super Size would guard the group's rear.

The top of the golden arches building offered only one real point of cover; a metal venting shaft for the turbo deep fat fryers. Girth put his last slug right in the middle of the vent housing. It missed, but forced the sniper against the far side where rocks batted by the twins and pseudo golf balls chipped by Enorm drove the skinny to another side where the women waited. The target arrows from Pleasantly's recurve skewered him along with a carbon bolt from Wide's compound crossbow.

'Roly,'� Girth called to one of the twins to get the rifle then cursed himself when he realized that Spread had been the bait for a trap. 'Rally on Super!'�

At six foot ten inches, Super Size was the group's giant. Certainly Enorm was heavier, but Super powered an almost solid three hundred and fifty pounds'down from six hundred. His marbled beef slabs were like a chiseled mountain slope covered by a blanket of ebony snow.

Super would definitely be a prized catch for the skinnies, but he was also their most feared enemy. Not only did Super carry a battered SWAT shield to ward off skinny clubs and crude javelin-spears, he swung a mean sledgehammer.

The group trudged to his aid while Super relived his NFL days. 'How do you like that crack back, crack head? Intercept this, skin bag!'� The nasty irony of it was that Super was no longer too heavy to play in a league that no longer existed.

The skinnies swarmed around Super like an all you can eat buffet. The encompassing emaciation left a sallow tinge to their skin, their hair and nails brittle gray from vitamin deficiency. Despite a partial recovery of edible plant life and even with the distraction of the skinny factions constantly preying on one another, they never passed up on one of the OA group members.

Super swept his hammer into the bony figures that jabbed at him with splintered sticks and nail-spiked clubs. Each arc of his sledgehammer crushed his opposition while every so often they would get past his shield to prick him.

With such a tight cluster of skinnies assaulting Super the group held off on their projectiles. Girth transitioned to the trusted nightstick he had carried as a security guard at the canned food plant. Then the twins joined in with their baseball bats and Enorm with his golf clubs.

The onslaught of sporting equipment tipped the scales so that the group could break and run. Ten years ago the members of the OA support group would have been the slow ones. Now, though still overweight according to pre-post-apocalyptic standards, they were fit enough from long scavenger hunts and short survival sprints. The skinnies lacked energy but made up for it in numbers.


Yet, no matter how fast the group ran, the skinnies hemmed and herded until Girth faced an almost total encirclement as they crossed the parking lot of a glass shattered Baskin Robbins. For a fleeting moment the image of a triple scoop Rocky Road with sprinkles came to mind. Sprinkles and Rocky Road it was!

Girth hated to use his last two buckshot, but the dozen or so skinnies surging in from a hundred and seventh street convinced him otherwise. The other two sides of the parking lot contained too many burned out hulks to allow the result he wanted. 'Break out, my cue.'�

He swung the stubby barrel not up at the skinnies but down toward the cracked asphalt. A double boom scattered eighteen 38-caliber balls off of the pavement to shatter skinny legs. The remainder fell victim to Super's blitz.

The breakout broke away with the group tracing well-rehearsed escape routes through various byways until reaching one of seven hideouts they rotated amongst. This abode occupied the dilapidated living quarters built over a long abandoned bakery. It reminded Girth of the donut shop his parents had owned during his middle childhood. Thoughts of apple fritters and maple bars provided little comfort to the wild carrots and apples they had recently scrounged.

Only afterwards, when Girth used his rusty multipurpose tool to fix the sling mount on his shotgun, did Spread decide to reveal his little secret.

Candles with various heights flickered in a room containing furniture fragmented by time and neglect. A stale couch crunched beneath Super Size and Wide. With the two lovers it was a tight fit mostly because of Wide's hips. Despite a hundred and fifty pound loss she still retained her greatest bulk in the rear. Super had one of his mountain range arms wrapped around Wide after she had tended his wounds. She propped her curly head on his left pectoral.

Roly and Poly played a game of slap spoon on the dusty floor with a wooden stir stick and a deck of greasy cards. Enorm flopped his six foot three inch frame over the remains of a mattress. It compressed under his four hundred and fifty pounds. Girth had to think hard to remember what Enorm's seven hundred pounds had once looked like when it had been hauled everywhere on a converted golf cart. Enorm's longing to play his favorite sport had been frustrated by an inability to endure the physical strain. Now that he was thin enough to play, every golf course was a jungle populated by skinny savages.

Girth moaned from the neck and shoulder massage he received at the hands of Pleasantly. Beneath her lightly toasted skin powerful muscles had developed from years of masseuse work. Girth had fallen for her from her first appearance at the OA support group. Together their love had suffered the famine.

Girth's five foot eleven inches had fallen from four hundred to two hundred forty and Pleasantly's five foot seven inches had likewise plummeted from three hundred fifty to two hundred thirty five. The struggle to survive had bonded them, yet he could see that Pleasantly longed for something more. Would a handful of vegetables or fruit when it was in season be all that he could offer her?

'Hey everyone,'� Spread broke into Girth's mulling, 'Do you know what I saw today when we got separated?'�

'What is it this time?'� asked Girth.

'I saw a full vending machine.'�

'Baloney.'� The voice barely projected Enorm's usual low volume.

'I'm not in the mood to joke around.'� It came out of Girth in a staccato burst due to Pleasantly's percussion on his back. She alternated between pummeling him with loosely clenched fists and hacking karate chops. Then she tapered the tempo with some cupping pats. Spread was interfering with his enjoyment.

'No joke this time.'� Spread's whining had started again.

'Honey,'� said Wide, 'you know there's no such thing. You just dreamin'.'� She closed her eyes and snuggled back into Super's man-boob.

'No, it's for real. The quake must've uncovered it.'�

'No more.'� The husky sound of Super's voice paused everyone. The giant rarely spoke. 'I'm still too hungry from beating down skinnies to listen to you tease us with your food fantasies.'�

'Please. Please. Just let me explain.'� Spread was beginning to sound even more desperate than usual.

Girth opened his mouth to shut him down before Pleasantly said, 'I'd like to hear more.'�

'Us too,'� said Roly. Poly nodded his agreement.

Girth was still angry enough at Spread to veto the group's consensus, but then Pleasantly switched to Shiatsu massage by using her body weight to put pressure against his back. Shiatsu was one of his most favorite forms of massage along side Indian, Chinese, Thai, Swedish and Sarawak.

'Fine,'� said Girth following a moan-groan.

'I saw it through my binoculars from the top of the old Hershey's factory. It's in part of the collapsed break room at the Tin Can.'�

Girth was all too familiar with the Tin Can food factory. He had manned the video surveillance desk until that traitorous Glut had fired him.

'The glass front was broken,'� continued Spread, 'but the inside was well stocked. And I'm not talking about one of the modern ones full of dehydration pouches and Aspartame coated protein wafers. This one was vintage.'�

'Baloney with mustard and mayo.'� Enorm went quiet at a look from Pleasantly, though he was sitting up now on the mattress despite his increasing objection.

'I'm talking about Famous Amos Cookies, Sweet 'N' Salty Mix, Tom's Salsa & Cheese corn chips and Gardettos Snack Mix.'�

'And Kit Kats?'� asked Roly.

'Snicker bars?'� said Poly.

'You bet! And 3 Musketeers.'� Spread's face glowed with the promises of vending machine heaven.

'What about chips?'� Super licked his lips. 'I haven't had chips in a powerful long time.'�

'Oh, it's full of chips like Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips, Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream, Doritos Nacho Cheesier, and red hot Cheetos. I even saw a Hershey's Milk Chocolate bar.'�

'With almonds?'� Wide's eyes matched her moniker.

'You know it, baby.'�

'Hey! Watch your mouth, Spread.'�

'Sorry, Super.'�

'This could be one of our best scavenger missions yet,'� said Roly.

'Oh, yeah!'� said Poly. In one spontaneous moment both red headed twins were up and belly bucking their six foot three hundred pound bodies against one another in anticipatory celebration.

'I can't wait to have some of that chocolate melt in my mouth,'� Pleasantly whispered in Girth's ear.

'No!'� Girth stood up, tearing himself free of Pleasantly. A hurt expression immediately cringed her features.

'Come on, man,'� Spread began before Girth stopped him.

'I wouldn't expect you to care about the group.'� Girth turned to the others. 'But the rest of you should know better. Have you all so easily forgotten about Gordita, Thick, Obe, Large and Pudge? Did they roast over skinny cook fires so that we could just waltz into a skinny stronghold and become the latest fresh meat?'�

'Don't talk like that, Girth.'� Enorm blinked rapidly. 'You know Obe was like a brother to me.'�

'And we don't forget about girlfriends like Gordita. Do we Miss P?'� Wide's tone wavered and Pleasantly turned away from Girth. He stretched a hand to her shoulder but she shrugged it off.

'I call to vote for a new leader.'� This came as no surprise, for Spread had called for many such votes in the past. He always lost by a nearly unanimous landslide. But for the first time ever the twins voted with Spread and Pleasantly abstained.

***

Girth's funk slipped into restless sleep. He remembered hearing movement in the middle of the night, but rationalized it as the changing of the guard. Indeed, the guard had changed with Spread taking his duty turn and then the twins and Pleasantly with him.

There was no real argument about what to do the next morning. The others would never let their friends risk cannibalism alone and he certainly wouldn't either anymore than he would quit on Pleasantly. All he could do was load up the only kind of shotgun shells he had left.

Girth led them the twenty-five blocks between the hideout and the factory. The need for both stealth from roving skinny bands and haste to reach the destination plucked violently at Girth's nerves. He resented the position Spread had put him in and he decided that he could certainly do without that troublemaker, and even the twins if he had to, though he had grown attached to their presence in the group. If nothing else their familiarity felt somewhat like the family he had lost after the famine.

His thoughts constantly returned to Pleasantly. He realized that he could no longer take her for granted and he knew now that he would have married her if the world hadn't ended.

The old perimeter fence no longer existed at the food factory. Girth moved carefully from outbuilding to outbuilding, ever expecting to encounter a skinny patrol emerging from the swirling dust and paper debris. An almost complete vacancy greeted his disbelief.

Once inside the main building, the crunch and clatter of discarded cans could not be avoided. None of the passages and entryways contained the barricades that Girth expected. Yet, somehow he knew what they would find.

On the main floor machines and conveyer belts stood dormant as they surrounded the missing ones gathered bound and gagged around a packing table. At one end sat Glut. There was no one, not even Spread, who Girth despised more than the former OA member, a high caliber executive forced into recovery by his rollercoaster eating disorder. Girth had exposed that sham.

'I knew you would bring them,'� said Glut--the skinny. And though he outweighed his minions by at least twenty pounds, he was still just a skinny. The four hundred pound loss made him nearly unrecognizable except for the eyes. Olive black and bouncing with natural nystagmus Glut's egg shaped eyes would forever remain distinct.

'Did you think we'd all just surrender to the cook pot without a fight?'�

'Of course not.'� Glut's clap swelled the packaging room with skinnies from every entrance point. Then the skinny leader ducked down, but not before Wide sewed his left arm with a crossbow bolt. To further add to the chaos Spread ate through his gag.

'He lied to me. There's no vending machine.'�

'It's not true!'� The wail came from Enorm, surprising even Girth with its intensity. 'I just wanted to taste a candybar again.'�

Girth saw white froth sputtering and bubbling from the corners of Enorm's mouth. Out from the shoulder strapped golf bag Enorm drew a putter and one of his driving clubs. His berserk rush sent him into the thickest part of the skinny assembly.

In that moment Girth seized the opportunity given to him by his friend's rage. He advanced toward the prisoners pumping from his shotgun the only ammunition he had left: beanbag rounds. The canned food company had issued the beanbags for use against animal rights activists striving to protect the canned sardines.

Much as Girth expected, less lethal beanbags had a devastating effect on the frail structure of skinny bodies. The yellow beanbags with tail-drag stabilizers, looked like miniature octopi flying head first into each skinny. There was no fat layer to insulate against the explosive punches that cracked into skinny ribs, folded over skinny bellies and ricocheted off of gaunt skulls. The handful of beanbags cleared the centermost path without endangering the captives.

To the left of Girth, Enorm swirled like a windmill, thrashing with his golf clubs, while on the right Super sledged and hammered. The empty shotgun hung from its strap while Girth used his baton to crack the last of the skinnies near the table. When they were down he produced his multipurpose tool to sever the rope bindings on Pleasantly and the twins.

'You can't leave me,'� Spread cried when he realized that Girth wasn't cutting him free.

Girth looked at Pleasantly. He had absolutely no desire to free Spread, but decided that he would if Pleasantly urged him.

'He set his own table and now he's eating at it,'� she said without any hesitation. The pronouncement of judgment from the most compassionate group member produced a mounting shriek from Spread.

They searched quickly for Glut, but he was not to be found amongst the skinny fallen. Girth dared waste no further time and locked sight on his goal: the north stairwell. For the moment it was clear of cannibals.

'Rally on me. On me!'� Girth strode toward the stairs, hoping the others would and could follow. Pleasantly remained at his side and the twins too, now swinging spiked skinny clubs. Wide and Super quickly moved in his direction, but not Enorm. Then he saw him, leaking from numerous stabs, golf swings slowing. Before Girth could order it Super waded in, squashing skinnies with his hammer until Enorm stumbled in tow.

Up they climbed the stairs with Super grunting from his effort to pull Enorm. After two floors the heaviest member could go no further. Skinny screams filled the bottom of the stairwell.

'Can you carry him?'� Girth looked to Super and received a headshake instead of the hoped for nod.

'It's all right.'� Enorm labored to speak. 'You all have been the best family I've ever had.'� With that he rallied enough strength to pull back before Super could react. Enorm tucked his chin, bent forward into a ball and pitched down the stairs. His makeshift ball couldn't roll straight, but didn't have to. The rolling form filled the width of each step and swept down all skinnies, whether they were prepared for his descent or not.

Girth wanted to go after him, yet he dared not waste the big man's sacrifice. 'This way.'�

He led the survivors up another flight and through shabby corridors until he reached the office of the Vice President of Human Resources. The V.P. had been directly responsible for hiring and firing. Girth and a contingent of other security personnel had a well-rehearsed plan for the event of a fired employee ever going postal. He knew Glut had been so far removed from plant operations that he had no idea about 'the postal plan'�.

Girth moved aside what debris remained from the desk. He clawed at the torn carpet until he found the latch to the trap door. Into the escape hole he ushered the others with Wide producing her tiny repulsion magnetic flashlight. Girth lowered in last, pulling the desk over him and then closing the trap door. He slowly latched the rusty bolt on the bottom side of the trap door while listening to the skinnies search out in the hall.

The short crawl to the shelter area was tight, yet manageable. They sat quiet and cramped in a space designed for no more than a half dozen supervisors. Girth figured it to be the best place to rest before squeezing through the remainder of the escape tunnel down to the underground parking complex. Once there Girth knew that escape would be fairly certain.

'What's this?'� Wide tugged a nylon bag out from a niche in the wall. She unzipped it while Pleasantly held the repulsion shake light. 'We scored, honey,'� said Wide before Girth shushed her.

Out of the bag she passed chocolate flavored energy bars and bottled water. Girth bit into his bar, almost overwhelmed by the rush of flavor. He realized that before the Great Hunger, he would've rejected the energy bar as just another poor imitation of real candy. Now, it made him think. He thought about Spread's betrayal, Enorm's sacrifice, and his love for Pleasantly. He suddenly longed for more to his life than mere subsistence.

Girth savored the flavor a little longer and though it wasn't the candy bar that Enorm had hoped for, it was close enough to share in his memory.

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