It wasn't the smartest of things Kicking in the front door window of my car
But some things have to be done,
And the lads were snug as bugs in rugs inside bonos nightclub
the kitchen.
the bouncers wouldn't let me in
no id
I had left that back in the car
back at the house
and when I got back to the house
the door was locked with my car keys
Resting like a baby on the only table.
I was so drunk that the most reasonable thing I could think of doing
was kicking my car door window in.

The kitchen was like a giant cheese inside,
at least that's what I thought,
with its Pointing walls with holes all along
like those with young sailors heads sticking outta them
On world war two movie ships until they came together
in a point at the top of the club making it
some sort of Swiss cheese looking thing

It was the night before the night before Christmas
Some call it the 23rd of December, each to there own;
But the night before the night before anything can often be the best night
Like on New Years Eve eve 2000
when lost friends called to see us in our new York apartment
and we drank whiskey and beer; smoked joints and sniffed coke
until our pockets and mental breakdown disabled us.

That added certain paranoia to that holiday period
Only topped by the paranoia of your mother walking up the stairs whilst
your giving yourself some of the best sex you ever had
in your early teens, late teens, early twenties, and late twenties,
rolling on into your early thirties
if your still sad enough to be living with your parents at that age.
By that time its conceivable that paranoia is a friend of yours
that comes to visit often not just on special occasions or in intermitted spells.












If this is the case good luck ta ye
It's a tight spot to be in, but on certain occasions tight spots are the only place to be
in the middle
all in
The whole fucking lot
on a pair of sevens
and the flop is two sevens and a three
and you think you are a winner; cock sure,
but the next two cards are two nines and the person next to you has poker nines.
What a fuckin bummer coming second in cards
But it happens; and so does a lot of things

That same night I kicked the window of my own car in
I got taken home in a taxi by a friend rubbered drunk
And my mate did a runner.
I was too drunk and the taxi man pulled me from his cab
and called some taxi mates and they quickly came
and gathered around me like lions around the wilder beast.

They promised me a hard night
Then my mate who saw what was happening
Jumped from behind a hedge about six houses up
and ran towards with the money telling them to leave me alone
they cursed us and sprayed us with pepper spray
And blinded us and I have never felt anything as bad

then they were gone and we were blind and holding each other
and telling each other we were blind
and it was cold ball freezing cold
it was bitter, and we were blind
and hurting and then I realised I had left my coat in the club
and my partner in crime knocked the giant red door
at the front of were we were staying and no one answered.

So now we were locked out freezing and hurting and blind
but my car was still there, And as the pepper spray began to leave
we climbed into it
but I had put my head in warmer fridges
so I grabbed a blanket that was on the back seat
and crawled in a frozen ball and went to a very cold drunken sore dreamland





we awoke about 2 hours later to the chattering of each others jaws
and looked at each other and wanted to cry
Then he got up from beside me and ran towards the door
we couldn't open before
pure bull at a gate style and put his boot in it
and it swung open and such relief as we staggered in there
and saw another mate lying in front of a fire
that was now smouldering with the best of good Irish turf.
and it was warm in there and we booted our friend on the floor
And asked him
"Did you not fucking hear that last night " and he said "no"

the next day after I had sort of thawed out
come down, and got rid of the shit completely
From my eyes,
I had to drive home
60 miles on a cold Christmas Eve.
No window on the front passenger side and there was a wind blowing from somewhere fucking freezing like the north sea via Greenland, Iceland
and straight through my window and blowing the shite clean out of me.

three weeks later I went back to Dublin and sold that car
to a Nigerian lad that came out with us that mad Christmas eve eve.
He wanted to pay less than he said he would when I got it down there
and it rained but I sold it anyway,
and with the money I bought a denim jacket from a fancy Dublin shop,
and within a week I had spent the money
and I lost that jacket in a night club a few weeks later,
but that's the way it goes sometimes.
Sometimes the winds at your back
and sometimes its right in your face
and sometimes its from the north sea
blowing down through Iceland
Greenland and through your
No window
Freezing your fuckin bollocks off but its all be a big adventure I suppose.
And its what makes the stories and we need the stories don't we

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