That a major snowstorm hit Connecticut and a better part of New England on Valentine's Day seems oddly fitting. Could I will such a storm if I wanted? Of course not, but I think I will enjoy the thought.

Most of us rant, rave and wonder how it was that this holiday exists in the first place. Obviously, card and candy corporations cash in. I heard that today commemorates a man that was martyred for performing Christian wedding ceremonies. Others just say St. Valentine was just one of many martyrs that lost his life for his beliefs. I don't know for sure, but can guess that he was not likely the only guy in Rome to become lion food for residing over Christian marriages, if this was the case.
My problem is that no one seems to have the original story straight and even if they did, it is still all about gifts and flowers or no sex granted you aren't tossed into the cold (I will always correlate the actual date with presents, no matter what you tell me). Among the people I know, there are many single people and those in various relationships. Some of my friends are fortunate enough to have found that special someone that they wish to spend the rest of their life with. They have worked hard at making their relationships work, communicate openly and should be commended and not envied (but I'll let the green eyed monster out anyway simply for the company). Such an obviously corporatized holiday isn't even necessary since the parties celebrate when they wake up in the morning, even if they have to be away from their loved one for whatever reason.

The following is for the rest of us. This part is the bile portion of our program and therefore optional reading.
Should you decide to mush on and continue reading, please note that despite the bitter tone, there are some parts that are meant to be funny and you'll likely see this.

We're supposed to be celebrating the day for lovers. Jokes aside, many people grow depressed around this time if single or have had thier hearts broken. My own was tossed aside and trampled too many times as well and while it doesn't come back to me like my life flashing before my eyes I'm still a little more depressed than usual during February. I've heard that February is a month that many people die. It is after the Christmas season, cold, and there is this goddamned holiday that reminds them of lonliness. I can believe such a claim in this light.
So, just what the hell are we supposed to be happy about?
Celebrating what love? It seems to me that the truly happy couples we know are a small number compared to those either single or in lousy relationships. In those cases, maybe only one in the pair is happy, if not delusional. They think they hit the jackpot with this individual, their dream lover, someone they can truly identify with.
I was talking to friends on the train once. You don't realize you're being manipulated until it is too late sometimes.
Let me give you one of my favorite examples. Awhile back, I rejoined OKStupid for quiz purposes. I also figured a few of my friends use it, so I can bug them. I discovered that I had the option of saying that I was not looking to date, and that you could also say you were in a relationship if you managed to find someone.
Now, in addition to my new one stop shop for online entertainment, I did manage to meet new people. Nothing that went beyond coffee, but I had fun. About a month or so ago, I'm searching around, and I run into an old screen name. I briefly dated this person a few years back, maybe even in college now that I think about it. Now, while I wasn't exactly playing catch up with the guy, I did know for a fact that he was with somebody. The last login date was maybe the week before and he was listed as single and looking to hook up.
That didn't surprise me too much, so I went back to searching around. I accidentally expanded said search and found another that was taken and listed otherwise. This had to be too weird a coincidence, so after a little brain racking, plugged in old screen names of various exes and others I knew. Out of that number, less than half were on this site, but more than two were listed as single when they weren't.
Ever have a similar experience? Did you also think that pretty girl you picked up was actually a chick and did you believe that sore was just a pimple?
If I didn't plan to use OKStupid, MyWaste or any other personals or netowrking site for dating, I sure as hell won't now since it seems that a few are shall we say, less than honest. You can argue the login dates are from months back and the person probably just had it and forgot about it when they started seeing someone. I found that to be the likely case with some of the names I found, but I chatted with people very recently when their last log in was back in November or December.

"Is it possible that my lover could betray me? Who else would?"--Matt Groening, 'Love is Hell'

Again, how can you trust people you meet? What happens if you find a connection with that person and all it leads to is hurt due to lack of honest communication? It seems that people are failing to be open and honset with one another more and more. I try myself, but there are things I probably left out that I shouldn't have. Sure, honesty and communication are key to long lasting love and satisfaction, but there is no instant gratification to be had. Why work to earn, or earn back the trust of someone you hurt and say you want to keep in your life when it is just easier to hop onto somebody else that may suit an immediate need, or provide you with connections, material things, sex, what have you? Sure, one person may geniunely care about you, but are you really going to choose that person when someone else can provide that instant gratification?

"He wants me, but only part of the time,
"He wants me, if he can keep me in line."--'Till Tuesday, "Voices Carry"

I'm sorry, but with the majority of people, if you have your pick, how likely is it that you'll go for the long term when so many choices allow for so many experiences, and someone pretty and easy to control? Why bother with geniune when you can actually have a date-palm that looks good on paper and is not as likely to outsihine you in your group of friends, someone that might not be missed when you're done with that person? Yes, there are those that are sincere and truly good hearted. As thankful as I am to know them, I myself have been merely settled for when they couldn't get anyone else or passed aside, or outright strung along to piss off another ex, for someone that filled an immediate want, and let's just say the individuals were less than communicative and honest about it. Why bother with the hassle for someone they didn't care about anyway?
I'm writing to get this off of my chest simply because I wasn't the only one this has happened to. Even those in healthy relationships now were screwed over by someone. Unless you live under a rock, this has happened to you.
I ask again, just what the hell are we really celebrating here? Is it love or gratification? I'm leaning toward the latter on this one, and not just because of all the Kay jewelry commercials that not even internet radio was spared from. Every day, people break up, hook up and lie to one another more than say, I'm not interested, I can't be involved, let's be freinds or God forbid I'm sorry. What is the point of a hearts and flowers day called Emotional Blackmail Day?
I'm single this Valentine's day, and I may be next year simply due to up and saying it, regardless if everone was thinking it or not.
I'm friends still with a few of my exes, but I've been screwed over, lied to cheated on among other things. Prize pig, I'm not, but I'd like to think that I am as human as anyone else and therefore don't deserve that. This is why I'm grateful to the ones that have been straight with me for the most part, have a one strike and you're out policy should anyone else make any comments regarding any weight gain, and why I curse the special assholes in my life. Yes you, I hope you find the perfect trophy S.O. and that person, dumb as they may be, has it in them to communicate honestly and openly with you, and tell you to go fuck yourselves.
Unpleasant, yes, but in a perfect world, this wouldn't happen and children would be given a crash course in communication with sex ed as opposed to the this is what it is, now don't do it method. In a perfect world, adults would prove to be more mature than children.

"When you're married, you want to kill your spouse. When you're single, you want to kill yourself...better her than me!"--Chris Rock

In a perfect world, that statement would not be funny.

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